apocalypse cream pie

2004-01-13T15:12:00.000-08:00

jumping ship
after thinking about it, i'm moving to livejournal (because there is an option to make entries friends-only, and besides, it's cooler). addendum: i forgot to publicize the address: http://www.livejournal.com/users/larchman

2004-01-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

addendum
i changed my comment system as it was a little confusing to those not in with the cebs.

2004-01-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

you'd make a dead man cum...ba ya
and now, the 2003 year in review, based on my entries:
january: i return to school after the near meltdown at the end of last year. we started off with the heaven/hell floor crawl...not a whole lot of other stuff seemed to happen that month though. grade: b-
february: aside from me purchasing the ever-important second vcr (ha ha), the major event of the month was the semi-formal, which in hindsight was so-so. i got completely drunk at the event, largely because the presence of one certain person was enough to rise my stress level to the level where i just needed drink after drink after drink. oh yeah, i saw mireille do a vagina monologue, which was good. grade: c
march: a lot of fun in there, with the moncton trip and a pub crawl, as well as the shave to save. of course, the end of the month was mired a bit in war crap and of course me admitting to laurel about "the futile attraction". grade: c+
april: my birthday was ok, but i felt really apathetic about school. grade: c
may: i begin working at canadian tire. it wasn't the worst job i ever had, but i really don't want to be forced to do the night shift because when you have that particular slot, good-bye social life. i finally got episodes of upright citizens brigade. and an episode of futurama makes me cry the most i have in a long time. grade: b-
june: my sister returns from tasiujaq. and then she, my mother, and my other sister go to winnipeg for a week (i was jealous even though carrie was miserable there), which is my ticket to fredericton, where i meet up with andrew. grade: b
july: visitors galore: first, aunt lina and uncle clarence, then carrie's friend heather. there were also a few trips in there, to bathurst and halifax, as well as a few beach excursions to escuminac, baie du vin and kouchibouquac (sp?). halifax kicked ass...i saw jay, missy, and met one of my video trade partners. grade: a-
august: more visitors, this time the browns from out west. work dries up (lack of deliveries) and i end up being let go a little early. alison lynch's miramichi article sparks controversy, and i end up being asked to write my own "problems with miramichi" article. christy goes back up to tasiujaq. grade: b-
september: school starts again, already better than last year. famous people start dropping on a higher rate than usual. oh yeah, hurricane party. grade: b
october: hanging out with cool people. thanksgiving. more productivity than usual. grade: b+
november: i start taking walks and wonder about the future. wintersleep concert kicks ass, as well as a party the next week. holiday ball was alright. and the beard growing contest starts. pretty good month. grade: a-.
december: the jimmy ceb show. billy announces he's leaving. i fall behind. a blizzard. my mother breaks her ankles. grade: c.

at least last year was an improvement over 2002. that's the important part.

in case you can't tell, i'm back at mount allison. alec's my new section mate, and wilson is back, cebbing it. right before the first day of classes, wilson, kate, rebecca, gorman, and a shitload of other people (including myself) went to the bridge in kerry's suv. afterward, the pared down group of wilson, rebecca, gorman, me, and kerry went to the aulac big stop for breakfast. then last night a bunch of us went to the pub.

i had a fuller beard than the other two participants of the beard-growing contest who kept their beards (josh and steve), but i was so sick of my beard that i shaved it. actually, i shaved my head again. i think i look better this way.

2003-12-31T00:10:00.000-08:00

who's got a siwwy bewwy?
i apologize for not updating in over two weeks, but several things have been keeping me from blogging lately, namely overdue essays, christmas, and a fucking slow computer. i hope my absence hasn't made katt regret changing my "update" status to "often".

i got the usual haul this christmas, including several cds ("lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven" by godspeed you black emperor!, "empyrean isles" by herbie hancock and "the joshua tree" by u2), clothes, a new discman, and the mr. show season 1 and 2 dvd set. my mother broke her ankles a few days before christmas so she's pretty much bedridden, but out of duty we've been keeping her entertained.

i've been watching a lot of movies over break...i managed to watch all three lord of the rings movies in the space of four days. i also watched "a mighty wind" (which is hilarious...i definitely want my own copy because christy takes hers with her to tasiujaq) and "waiting for guffman". before i go back to school i want to watch "guffman" "best in show" and "wind" with the commentaries on (maybe a few deleted scenes as well).

i haven't seen a lot of people from home. not gen (who was in dieppe), not andrew (who was sick), not anyone else from my grade. i saw andrew "snaggle junior" jardine at the mall but nobody else. oh well. i don't need a social life. i'm playing "hermit" this year. good thing i have some booze for new years.

anyways, i'll probably do my year in review post soon.

2003-12-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

put your pants back on!
well, anton vettel, the infamous baseball player, has gotten himself a livejournal. i didn't know the bastard could read or write...maybe he has a ghostwriter. he doesn't have any friends yet, which isn't surprising...

2003-12-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

bite my shiny metal ass!
i just felt like quoting bender from futurama...i'm not particularly overstressed or anything. although i'm a little behind with my essays, i'm doing ok. definitely better than i was doing about a year ago at this time, when i basically spiralled into madness. i am a little tired though.

i just wrote an exam in inequality class...i'm not sure how i did. one question i knew mostly, two questions i knew somewhat, and one i'm not at all sure about. hopefully i'll do ok enough on the essay so my grade doesn't suck too bad.

tonight, a group of us (me, billy, andrew smith, erin, josh, and doc) went to remy's bistro for a "last hurrah" dinner before billy goes to saskatchewan next term. it was good to get away from the meal hall, which sucks exponentially.

here's how i looked in the beard growing contest as of two weeks ago:

i still haven't shaved and probably will still have the scruff when i go back to miramichi. if i keep the beard long enough, people will probably start calling me osama ben douwsma. i'll have to see whether any of the other guys will keep their beards over break. maybe brenley will force ryan to shave his when he visits her in japan. i think the original plan was to leave the mustache for a day (and make us look really dirtbaggy).

do you think i should keep the beard, shave but leave my hair, shave but leave my hair and mustache, shave everything, or some other combination? leave a comment.

2003-12-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

friendtest update
part one of the friendtest is over. i haven't started the next one yet; i will, however, reveal that rankings, questions and answers are now on my geocities website on this page.

note: if you read this, please use the comment system and let me know. i use the site meter, but you can never be too sure who reads this thing...this is not something to be discussed with my mother, in case any of her friends come across this. if my mom finds this, i'm going to switch over to a friends-only livejournal account, and i don't want to alienate my non-lj using audience by doing that. i'm also requesting that people use the comment system because nobody leaves me comments anymore.

2003-12-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

i will go if you say you'll go, do you want to go?
the jimmy ceb show was a success, with people as far away as florida and minnesota tuning in, and andrew calling in. i'm looking forward to upcoming jimmy ceb shows...if wilson can get on the air, it's going to kick more ass than ever.

last night was the christmas banquet at meal hall (where they actually have to make something with flavour), and the secret santa revelations/house christmas party. because i didn't have a gift bought, i sold myself to my secret santa, tiffany, for 24 hours of slavery (no sexy) and promised a mix cd under the "name" motif (where the first letter of each song title spells her name).

the real crux of the evening came when billy dropped a bombshell at the party: he's not going to be back at mount allison the next semester. he got accepted into a music program at briercrest, a christian college in saskatchewan. i'm really happy for him, because i really knew how much he wanted to be doing music...his experience playing with his band this summer gave him something that he was actually passionate about. the urge to play music was so strong this year: he was upset that he was stuck here in mount allison doing a science degree when he didn't even know whether he wanted to go into pharmacy anymore. i'm so proud of him, actually taking the initiative towards doing what he wants.

however, i'm going to miss him like hell...he's basically been my best friend here over the past two and a half years. his departure also brings up the question of where i'm going to live next year: with him leaving, there's even less incentive for me to stay in edwards house next year. most of the people i know are definitely out of there next year, either graduating or living off-campus. and billy's departure gives adam daley (the one other upperclassman who was considering remaining in edwards) less reason to stay as well.

edwards as i know it will cease to exist as of april 2004 and i really have no desire to stay anymore.

the only trouble is that i didn't decide i was moving off campus early enough, so i don't have first dibs on roommates, or rooms for that matter. i don't exactly consider myself in anyone's little in-group, so i would have felt uncomfortable approaching any of my friends about moving in with them anyway. and now that it's too late to do anything about it, i am officially screwed and now have this sense of dread regarding the next year. living in the house could be potentially unhappy: i'd be 3-4 years older than everyone, and since there's going to be a high turnover rate, i have a feeling that the acceptance and community that was once the hallmark of edwards will all but disappear. it's going to turn into another bennett or bigelow, a house full of drunken, idiotic frosh still stuck in perma-highschool. but what can i do? i've basically screwed myself over for the next year. i can still move off campus, but i'd be in a hole, and with people i may or may not be able to stand.

i think i'm going to talk to dave about this...then, i've got to finish my 10-15 education paper.

2003-12-02T15:44:00.000-08:00

reminder
tune into the jimmy ceb show tonight at midnight (atlantic time, 11pm eastern) or else. internet feed here for your pleasure. you know you want it.

2003-11-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

soar away free into incandescent blue
well, the holiday ball was fun, although to be honest i didn't care for the hot, sticky atmosphere inside the mcconnell hall's eastern lounge, and felt the need to literally come up for air. i don't really dance at these things anyways. nonetheless, it was a good time, more pleasurable than sitting in my room all night, enduring aaron's computer songs. i cut out early, as soon as the live band stopped and the dj started. a few hours later, once everyone came home, we (me, quance, matt, jill, josh, allison, and amy) piled into allison's rooms for garlic fingers and tunage, a last hurrah before the reign of "23 hour quiet hours".

last night, i watched memento. good shit.

snatchety snairah ross gave me the address to her recently rediscovered webpage, so i've put the link in the sidebar. the site is entertaining, as it contains quite a few pictures of her and genevieve gay commiting various acts of mischief. look for the "miramichi moments" postcards on page two of the photo page.

i must be off to do some work. fucking essays.

2003-11-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

eat the cheeseburger astro boy!
well, this week was busy, with essays coming out of my ass. hopefully i won't be in the situation i was in last year. tonight's the holiday ball. hopefully i will enjoy myself and not lust after cockteases.

last night, shawn and i watched ucb (the saigon suicide squad episode)...it's good to see that there is someone in the house who gets my sense of humor.

here's something i found. it makes me out to be pretty sad...(highlight to read)

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	78.3% Never taken out of the packaging	65%
Shamelessness	95.2% Has yet to see self in mirror	79.3%
Sex Drive	97.4% The Pope is envious	77.7%
Straightness	98.2% Just go fuck something, okay?	44.9%
Gayness	100%	83.3%
Fucking Sick	97.3% Refreshingly normal	89.9%
You are 91.82% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

note: a gayness score of 100% pure means that i have never had any gay sexual encounters.

2003-11-25T19:59:00.000-08:00

preemption notice
sorry, folks, no jimmy ceb show this week. dave's sick and we're both a little swamped with work. but tune in next week, midnight atlantic time, for our regularly scheduled programming. apologies to those who wanted to hear my speaking voice (which, unfortunately, is nowhere near as "high and pretty" as conan o'brien's singing voice).

2003-11-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

the jimmy ceb show
just a reminder: the jimmy ceb show, chma, tonight at midnight ast (11pm eastern). realaudio link here

i'm heading into the home stretch now with my essays. hope i don't go insane like i did last year (although since one of the negative elements is no longer here, not as likely...i'm also trying not to slack off as much).

2003-11-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

political man, dot dot dot
sorry for the lack of updates the past few days, but not really because nothing happened. on the academic front, i have essays to work on (perhaps an all-nighter or two will be necessary) and classes to attend. thursday was such a "loaded" day academically as i had to read, etc. not to mention go to class. friday, i wasted the afternoon by sleeping.

on the personal front, i used thursday night to take a long walk around sackville and have a chat with shawn. friday night was the edwards house coffee house, where i read my own composition (which was a bunch of random scenes tied in as a dream sequence) to favorable response. i also participated in the karaoke afterwards, singing "lay lady lay" by bob dylan and "steppin' out" by joe jackson. i later hung out with olivia, alec, and domenique.

last night, though, was a real surprise. i had anticipated a quiet evening of study. instead, dave gorman invites me to a party at adam binet's house...we ended up staying until about 2:30 am. domenique, olivia, kerry, reb, and magaggie dropped by for the early part; allison, amy and matt dropped by later on, with plenty of great vinyl providing the soundtrack throughout. i now know that double extra cheese and bacon makes a damn good pizza. and that matt, allison and amy are fun to hang out with.

2003-11-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

good place arkansas
well, it's gen's birthday today, so i sent her a "happy birthday" e-mail. hope she likes it, especially the picture i attached. at least i didn't send joel godard from conan showing off his lack of genitals...i already did that to wilson.

i haven't been drinking as much as i have been in previous years...maybe it's because i don't have the money to slip out to ducky's or the pub (although i did hit up the liquor store this year). maybe next term that will change with our house party and all, but i just haven't felt like getting sloshed as much as i used to. other sensations, maybe (nudge nudge). as a result, i will have the tolerance of a baby at the edwards house party.

remember, if you want to leave a comment, click "wanna ceb it?". god, i use that word too much.

2003-11-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

bong crosby
yesterday was one of those days where not an overwhelming amount of interesting blog fodder took place, but a few conversations bandied about here and there. i went for another walk with andrew last night, talking about the usual stuff. i stayed up to tape jesus of montreal (and pause commercials out of the tape). in retrospect i should have gone to bed; i've been battling drowsiness all day, nodding off a few times in dr. nurse's class (he's actually a great prof, it's just that i'm so tired).

i keep seeing mireille at the increasingly crowded computer lab...it's that time of the year again, when all the essays are due. hope i actually manage to get things done on time this term. good thing i have a laptop in my room for writing essays when the labs are closed. it's not connected to the internet so i still come here to do e-mails (speaking of which, send me one) or read my usual webpages.

so far i think i'm doing better at school. b+ on my education and society presentation, which is a relief. i suck at public speaking so it's good to see that i didn't bomb on account of that.

on the subject of mireille, i'm still surprised that we seem to have more conversationy (is that a word?) conversations than i usually have with other people. which i like, of course. i just wish that the time i spent with other people had that same flow. mireille's so awesome...and i'm not just saying this because i know she reads this thing.

jenna made a post about favorite songs, saying that they actually do reveal a lot about the character of a person. i submitted a few. it's good to know that there's someone else at this school who shares my addiction to music.

i gotta go, gorman's radio show is on at midnight on chma (realaudio stream here). i'm coming along for tonight. speaking of gorman, i'll publish an interview with him on the site soon.

2003-11-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

to the zoo blvd.
just when i was ready to write this weekend off as boring, friday and saturday night reedeemed themselves to me. i admit i wasted friday night, spending a lot of time in the computer lab. when i returned to edwards house, i ended up watching donnie darko with ryan, aaron, erin (chapman), jill (christie), liz, chris (garon), and allison all piled into the latter's room. that was an interesting movie, i must say. it's a shame the soundtrack album is the score plus the "mad world" cover; the movie used such good songs.

saturday afternoon, my family came down and we went to amherst. they came bearing new shows (as my old ones were literally falling apart). we went to amherst, first to look around in the mall, then to eat at jungle jims. after that, we went to the new wal-mart that opened in amherst...it's sad that even amherst has a wal-mart, while miramichi (aka "cousinfuck, new brunswick") doesn't have one.

after i went back home, a small army of us went to george's roadhouse for the wintersleep show, which was fucking awesome. the first act, jill barber, was quite good, but wintersleep was fucking incredible. a whole group of edwardians were standing by the stage and dancing. i got their cd, thanks to ryan. the last act, jon epworth, was hyper, but i thought wintersleep was much better. matt, ryan and dave weren't shitting me when they said they were awesome live. matt and dave actually followed them from fredericton to moncton to sackville. afterwards, we went over to adam binet's house for a bit of a party with the band...i stayed for a bit, and went home with the girls (allison, erin, amy, danielle). i stayed up and taped six feet under (at 5:20 am!) and crashed until 3pm today.

staying in sackville this weekend was so fucking worth it.

2003-11-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

the rutles' "tragical history tour"
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

i felt like doing that.

last night was incredibly boring, so i watched my copy of the rutles. today wasn't spent in a particularly productive manner either: i felt like just zooing it. meal hall sucked today because nobody's here. good think my family's coming down tomorrow to go to amherst...we'll have a go at eating some real food.

i crave your e-mail: bjdwsm@mta.ca, please, i'm so incredibly bored. i do hear from wilson and some snl contacts, but if you could spare a little time and write a decent e-mail, i would muchly appreciate it. if you just feel like commenting, use the comment system.

i would like to send a long e-mail to a few people soon...

2003-11-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

comment system
i now have the capability to have comments...after seeing that katt has had a comment system, i felt i needed to compete with those who have livejournals or blog-city blogs. to leave me a comment, click "jimmy ceb". one thing i noticed: the system katt and i use goes down every so often. oh well. katt, hope you don't mind me adapting the same technology!

dr. nurse gave us a week extension on our essays. i will still use the weekend to work but i decided that tonight was a "mental health" night. i'll watch a little tv, chat up with some people, etc. etc.

i forgot to announce that the guys in my house are having a beard growing contest. sunday night we all shaved for the last time; right now i'm really getting scruffy. i haven't shaved my head lately either (i think the bald and beard thing would just look too creepy). i'm one of the people in the house who actually can grow a beard (although shamim probably is stiff competition).

later, rebs.

2003-11-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

schizophrenia
that's what it feels like sometimes. there are times when i really enjoy living in residence: take for instance last night at the stroke of midnight, when we had the little party in the kitchen for tiffany's 18th birthday. and yet there are times when everyone in the house annoys me or alienates me. last night i actually felt both those feelings.

i can't also help but feel a little sexually frustrated, even though i have been taking the position of "i'm so lucky i'm unattached". i think several of the girls in the house are kind of hot, yet do i actually see myself with any of them? do i even think i have a chance?

the computer lab is so full of people right now; it's a little disarming.

2003-11-10T12:04:00.000-08:00

the return of the friendtest
after aborting the "cumulative quiz" from last year (after I forgot to keep track of scores after the third or fourth quiz), i restarted the friendtest feature. taking a cue from andrew, i focused the quiz on one subject at a time. this quiz is about movies. take it now.

2003-11-09T13:13:00.000-08:00

shake it like a polaroid picture
the song "hey ya" by outkast is stuck in my mind, thanks to snl both last week (when outkast was the musical guest) and this week (when they spoofed said performance). it's actually pretty good for hip-hop.

last night was boring as all fuck, with nothing of note going on within the house. good thing snl was on: it was actually better than average. will forte and fred armisen rule.

i had a dream last night where for some reason laurel was back from china. i remember taking this badly in the dream, and saying something nasty/yelling at her as she came into view. and yet for some reason my anger/hate subsided eventually. then for some reason i was outside in a storm and waiting for my parents to pick me up from a mall for hours. i think my parents had moved somewhere as well. e-mail your interpretation to bjdwsm@mta.ca, please, help me make sense of this. the most creative interpretation may merit a prize.

2003-11-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

unit 3000-21 is warming
i apologize for the brevity of the last entry; the mount a security guy had to close up the lab. it's always closed earlier on the weekends, which annoys me to no end. seeing as i could no longer waste time in the computer lab, i headed back to edwards, where everyone was crammed in allison coady's room for a few rounds of jenga. i think it was danielle's game.

i'm very pleased that ten23.net is back and better than ever. i'll be adding the link to the sidebar shortly.

i really think it's high time i travelled. it's not really the best time to do this right now, with schoolwork mounting up, but if we end up with access to a car next term, i'd love to take advantage of dave's offer to go on road trips with him and wilson. when you're in such a small town as sackville half the year (a place rightfully known as "the bubble"), and then living in a dump like miramichi the rest of the year (which i'm definitely leaving after graduation). i know i've got invites to visit several people during the summer; however, i'm not sure whether i will ever get the chance.

check out the george w. bush scorecard of evil. fuck, i can't wait until that idiot is out of office. if mark jones believes this guy has divine authority, then it's no wonder so many people are athiests. if he gets another term, then the world is fucked. when you have a second term, you can do whatever. he can become a despot (although some may say he already is one with the patriot act). i am so glad i live in canada right now. fuck, he makes me so mad. no surprise that john "the anti-freedom bigot" ashcroft is his attorney general.

2003-11-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

weekend
well, this week was a bit of a waste...i slept in tuesday, thursday AND today. bah.

we finally had a section dinner at joey's tonight, the first time since mike mohammed was in the section...that was one of the things i missed most from last year. hopefully, there will be more in the year to come.

2003-11-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

mix and something i found
hey, i forgot to put this mix up on art of the mix when i made it two months ago.

believe it or not, this is a real album. i thought that snl was joking when they used it as one of the greatest make-out albums of all time in a commercial parody from a particularly lame season. it just goes to show you: anyone can make an album.

2003-11-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

i ated too much pie
i slept in on tuesday morning...i suck. i need to nip this "sleeping in" thing in the bud, as the cliche goes. so the only class i made it to was the "education and society" seminar. even though my inequality class doesn't give a participation grade, i still feel like a heel for missing that class. although i think a lot of people skip that class...

the other night i ran into mireille at the computer lab. we talked for a bit and i showed her all the stuff andrew (savoy) and i did that made fun of miramichi. she seemed to enjoy it...not a lot of people seem to fully appreciate our senses of humor so it was quite cool to hear her describe andrew's work as "clever". afterwards i went for a walk with billy and andrew (smith) up around the rink and near where he and most of the (cool) upperclassmen are moving next year. we're also planning to have a section dinner on the weekend, one of the things that i missed most about mike mohammed being in the section last year.

andrew, billy and i have been talking about how there seems to be a bit of a decline in the enjoyability of residence life lately. we've all been living in edwards house for some time now, and basically we're beginning to see why people move off campus after their second year. between the bad food at meal hall and the general alienation that seems to be growing between people in the house. billy summed it up perfectly when he said that his first year (my second) "was the tail end of something". it's true if you think about it. the house was at its best during 2001-02, with the presidency of keir mcisaac, the amazing frosh group, and a good batch of upperclassmen. now, it just seems like we're still hanging around on the basis of distant memories. even our section, 2a, will never reach the awesomeness of that year, the year with scott, tim and jay as the distinguished elders. even last year was better, with mike mohammed as cruise director. i know a lot of people didn't like mike but they never really got to know him the way we did last year. now me, billy and andrew have been thrust into the "role model" position, and we're uneasy with that. and the section is, by our own admission, nowhere as good as the previous years. the danger of staying in residence too long is that the good memories are going to be overshadowed by this malaise that we're feeling. at least andrew's getting out. billy and i, on the other hand, aren't sure what we're doing next year, and now we're faced with the prospect of a potentially unhappy year in edwards house. hopefully things will pick up with wilson coming back to mount a in january.

i always check the site-meter to see what people visit my site and what people use in search engines. i can pinpoint a few regular readers, but i wonder who a lot of people who read this blog are, especially if i know them. so i must re-extend my request for my regulars (aside from andrew, melena, and wilson), to e-mail me or sign my guestbook.

2003-11-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

coupon: the movie
so last night, everyone but myself and a few other edwardians went to moncton for a movie, dinner, and drinks. it was nice to have the house quiet for once, but more than a little boring. so i watched monty python at the hollywood bowl, and then went out to the bridge (and for a drive afterwards) with gorman. we passed by jenna, danielle, and laurel (conrad, not the cockteaser) a few times...

i had a weird dream last night: i dreamed that for some reason i was invited to this party with a bunch of miramichiers who go to mount allison. only the venue looked like it was near my old neighborhood in winnipeg. i remember not really getting into the party and leaving it with a girl who i graduated with but goes to mount a with me. she was somewhat upset and i was consoling her at a restaurant (which switched between the wendy's on henderson highway in winnipeg and some outdoor place along the same street). as we are eating, one of my classmates at kildonan-east, jillian hall, passes by and for some reason has a huge afro. she waves to me and the girl, and does a double-take when she sees who i'm eating with for some reason. either because she recognizes her (which is unlikely) or because i'm actually with a woman (more likely). jill and i never completely got along in real life so in effect this representation of her would have that leaning. i actually wonder what it would be like if for some reason i was physically reunited with the people i knew in winnipeg.

it's 4:16: another two and a half hours spent in the lab today. i gotta get out.

2003-11-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

hey jeepers, check this shit out!
i just wasted a few hours playing emogame 2, something that andrew found. fucking shit, man, that was hilarious. although i wonder what the person behind me would have been thinking if they saw the anal rape scenes...

last night was halloween. there was a party in the residence across the quad but i didn't go (reports from those who did go indicated it bit hose). instead, i lounged about in edwards house, watched the most fucked up snl with shawn and myles, went to the computer lab, hung out with jenna and danielle in chris' room, and watched as matt made a pornographic jack-o-lantern with allison and amy.

my eyes are starting to hurt from looking at this computer screen for so long.

2003-10-30T19:19:00.000-08:00

thursday
so i wasted another evening sitting in a computer lab and surfing the internet. it's sad, actually. no socialization (aside from saying hi to a few people i know who may be working in here). meh.

i'm feeling a little scruffy right now...tonight it's going to be shaving time again. i've been shaving my head for about two months, and while it is a bitch to maintain the look, i prefer it to having hair, namely because i'm already going bald, and i don't like putting crap in my hair to make it look half presentable. i don't like combs either..

there seems to be a little concern on a section mate's behalf regarding the fact that all the men in my section are single. is that so wrong? it's true that we're not the most outgoing section in the world (with the exception of waddington, but he's hyper), but still, we're decent guys. speaking from experience, i don't think it's the most important thing in the world. there are quite a few good looking/smart/cool/funny ones in edwards, yet i'm not exactly convinced that anyone will possibly wind up as my girlfriend. partially because i never bother to ask anyone out, and partially because i'm uber-selective. would anyone in the house be compatible with my "quirks"? and of course the whole issue of "house incest" comes up as well. for those of you unfamiliar with the concept, it's the issues that come up when dating within the house and there's a nasty breakup: you still have to live and eat with the people for the rest of the year. i remember during the "period of awkwardness" after i admitted to laurel that i did like her, i couldn't look at her without feeling sick to my stomach or depressed. if i broke up with someone (badly), it has the potential to be even worse. so there. i'm not ruling anything out but i'm not going to actively pursue anything this time.

i got a b on my proposal. go me.

well, i better go. seeing as i have spent four fuckin' hours in this lab, it's time for me to log off. my eyes are telling me this.

2003-10-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

the comedy network should lose their license
seriously, why would a station that markets themselves as "the comedy network" run a show as painfully lame as "open mike with mike bullard", the antithesis of the whole "canadians are funny" generalization. and they run the fucking show four times a day! that's 1/6th of their lineup devoted to that show. and don't get me started on "just for laughs gags"... why the fuck would they put a laugh track on that show? is their target audience the mentally retarded? the only thing i actually like on that channel right now is the "bob newhart show" reruns. maybe a few other shows, but the point is: they obviously don't listen to their audience. most people i talk to think mike bullard is less funny than penile cancer...and yet apparently the comedy network thinks they can still run that shit four times a day. i think we should take a stand and mail the comedy network themselves. any of you canadians who think that a cable channel supposedly devoted to comedy should never air another bullard rerun should let them know this in no uncertain terms (no death/bomb threats please). i'm still pissed off that they would stop running classic snl and mr. show, and cut back on kids in the hall, and the fact that they would rather run shit like mike bullard than import some of the better american or british shows (ie: anything more underground) makes me sick. what next? a marathon devoted to a show about "screeching retards?"

2003-10-26T15:13:00.000-08:00

he tries to think of a falsehood, but he cannot! so he throws fudge at her!

andrew found this weird-ass flash cartoon called fight! kikkoman!. i've linked to the english translation. i know there's another version of the english translation, but it's not as true to the freakiness of the original (ie: there is a little censorship).

last night was the junior prom...for the fourth year in a row, i declined to go since i don't like those things (too coupley) and feel too self-conscious to fully enjoy myself. so i settled for a night of semi-boredom with the few people who didn't bother going. i watched snl last night, it was the best of tracy morgan. as usual, i had issues with some of the sketches they chose (two brian fellows? jacking off king kong? why not the first woodrow sketch? no loews?) but for the most part they made some good decisions. after the show, a few people were up and willing to talk- i had a good chat with jo for a bit.

i've been getting into the show six feet under thanks to the canadian cable channel showcase. in the episode that ran last night, one of the characters said something that identify with, about being "the annoying extra person lumped in with everyone else".

i was cleaning my room today because it was such a mess...for accompiament (which i need during these tasks), i put on bruce cockburn's "you've never seen everything". it's a very good album, but it's so draining to listen to sometimes. the title track is one of the most depressing things i've heard in years: it's depressing because it actually is about outward reality. the subject matter is about all these atrocities that happened in canada, and the universality of greed in the world. good thing the song right afterward is "don't forget about delight".

i've been getting some ideas for mixes lately. one of the topics i would like to do is a "break up/failed relationship" mix for some reason...i have a few songs in mind for the mix already. i also have a few friends' birthdays coming up, so i might want to make mixes for them.

anyways, i'm off...

2003-10-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

stephen hawking is in the house and he be taking care of business
check out this article by todd rundgren about the stupidity of the record industry. it's good to see musicians speaking out on the matter.

i got my proposal done, finally.

i forgot to mention this...late monday night, josh and quite a few other people went down to the pub for his 19th birthday, as it has been a long wait to that event (he fast-tracked, meaning he came here a year younger than most...add to the fact that his birthday's in late october, this means that he was 16 when he came to mount a). anyways, we celebrated his first (legal) drink by giving him a shitload of shots. he didn't want the last one they gave him, so i had it (and it tasted like ASS). brutal man.

last night i went for a walk with billy, andrew and chris...i like walks, i wish i would actually bother to go on them more often.

anyways, it is the weekend. hurrah.

2003-10-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

this is fucked up
fuck, now elliott smith is dead. suicide, apparently. that's another talented musician gone. we lose joe strummer, johnny cash, warren zevon, and elliot smith in the span of one year. cait said it best:

In a world where Elliott Smith kills himself but Fred Durst doesn't, what sort of hope do we have for the future anyways?

a sad day, indeed.

2003-10-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

"blind people think they're so cool"- tim calhoun
tonight i should be researching for my education and society proposal. i'm doing that, but i'm also blogging in the lab. i think i just like using these things to vent or do something like that.

i decided to make a profile on waferbaby.

for some reason i've been feeling the need to visit someone and just talk to them about what's on my mind in private. yet i never really get that far in conversation.

2003-10-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

i'll sit here and read the bible then...done. poor jesus.
so drunken bowling was pretty fun, although i opted not to drink and left the party early. i think it was the combination of the noisy drunks and the shitty dance music that the house mainstreamers always bring to these kinds of events. it's a bowling alley. not the pub. afterwards i watched snl with halle berry and britney spears. i think britney should be banned from being an snl musical guest: her first number was so very obviously lipsynced. "me against the music"? see, she's even admitting that what she does isn't music! the episode was fairly weak, although will forte managed to provide a few laughs during the show.

i promised earlier that i was going to rip off one of andrew's old entries, so here goes.

my favorite albums of all time (in no order)

bob dylan- blood on the tracks
bob's probably one of my favorite artists, so it's fitting that i start with him. although his classic 60s albums are essential, i give this one the edge if only for "tangled up in blue", my favorite song of his. the songs resonate here.
best songs- tangled up in blue, idiot wind, shelter from the storm, buckets of rain

miles davis- in a silent way
although kind of blue is his indisputed classic, i just love chilling to this album. it's so hushed and relaxed. it's one of miles' electric albums (it came out right before bitches brew), yet it's quite mellow. there are only two tracks, but they're both 20 minutes long, and the second one is the musical equivalent of sex. and look at the lineup- miles, john mclaughlin, herbie hancock, joe zawinul, wayne shorter- it's essentially the best jazz fusion group ever assembled.
best song- in a silent way/it's about that time

tom waits- rain dogs
again, tom's another favorite of mine, and i recommend all of his catalog. i chose this one though because it introduced me to the diversity of his music. it's amazing that "singapore", a song which sounds like cookie monster singing in front of a junkyard band, can fit on the same album as the ballad "time", and the original version of "downtown train".
best songs- time, downtown train, 9th and hennepin, clap hands, singapore

yo la tengo- i can hear the heart beating as one
i only started getting into these guys in the past year, but i'm so glad i did. this was definitely worth all $27.99 (canadian) plus tax i paid for it. again, i like this record because of its diversity, and the ability to make feedback beautiful.
best songs- moby octopad, sugarcube, deeper into movies, autumn sweater, we're an american band (note: not a grand funk cover).

radiohead- kid a
this is one of those albums that just changed my musical tastes when i first listened to it. i like their other work too, but none made quite the impression kid a made.
best songs- everything in it's right place, the national anthem, idioteque,

the flaming lips- yoshimi battles the pink robots
my sister got me interested in these guys when she bought me the cd for christmas (following the advice of my cousin harold, who got her into them). they have this way of tackling depressing things (like death) and making them uplifting, all within a sci-fi concept.
best songs- yoshimi battles the pink robots (pt 1), ego tripping at the gates of hell, do you realize??

roxy music- avalon
yes, it's a make-out record. but what a make-out record.
best songs- more than this, the space between, take a chance with me, to turn you on

simon and garfunkel- bookends
from my mother's musical collection...this is undoubtedly their finest moment. only half an hour long, but what a half hour. the bookends suite that comprises the first side should be enough, but the singles on the other are no slouches either.
best songs- america, old friends, bookends theme #2, fakin' it.

the beatles- abbey road
i couldn't have a list of my favorite albums without the beatles. i got this the day of my high school prom, and i link it to those days. actually, it's kind of logical: the end of the beatles, the end of high school. the second side should be required listening anyway.
best songs- something, i want you (she's so heavy), entire second side.

elvis costello- the very best of
the one i have is now out of print, but it stands up as a great album on its own. it's got everything from "alison" to "i want you".
best songs- pump it up, accidents will happen, beyond belief, brilliant mistake, i want you

there are more albums, but it's late and i wasted enough time compiling this list.

2003-10-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

counterfeit money machine
after i got back from the computer lab last night, there was a bit of a party in jenna's room, as a lot of people were warming up for the "mount eh" kitchen party with signal hill. i didn't bother going. rather than attend a party with a bunch of drunk people i don't even know, i hung around in residence for a bit, watching the first half-hour of the hours with ryan. then, at about midnight, i ran into gaylen who was looking for andrew (smith). i helped her find him, and then she invited us both back to her apartment for some wine, a little midnight spaghetti, and some cbc (we had "west side story" playing in the background). now, that was actually quite pleasant. i enjoy "the visit" a bit better than "the party" for a variety of reasons. i guess me not being super-outgoing has a factor in this...i always feel self-conscious when at parties or even the campus pub (or, as it's known on weekends, football player and skank city). i prefer to have an interesting conversation with someone over making an ass of myself.

tonight is drunken bowling in the house. i'm probably not going to get too shit-faced this time (because i was a lot last year). hopefully it will be fun (as fun as it was in second year, not the lameness of the third year).

i got a b on my drama paper...i'm quite pleased with myself. especially considering i thought my paper made no sense.

i think one of these days i'm going to rip off a few of andrew (savoy)'s blog entries and do either a list of people that don't piss me off, or a list of favorite albums. i may have to write them out and then type them off.

this is proof that zero-tolerance policies are assinine. whoever the fuck invented these should be dragged in the streets.

well, i'm off to the meal hall for some terrible food.

2003-10-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

electric sports bra
i finally got some assignments done, and now the big whopper is coming up next week. the education and society thing is due on thursday. fortunately, that's the only major thing i have to do for the week and it will likely be what takes up most of my time during the week. vive le weekend, i say.

i'm spreading my musical taste around the house. i introduced shawn to miles davis' classic album in a silent way, one of my definite all time favorites. i also got ryan listening to the soundtrack of our lives and yo la tengo. ryan's also a source of music for me...i think i may ask him to make a cd with some of his picks for me sometime. some of the music that he brought up during one of the many informal gatherings with matt and allison is quite excellent (specifically "lover you should have come over" by jeff buckley and "birds without wings" by david gray). just as long as "sandwiches" by detroit grand pubahs or that bad bollywood "oh my darling" song isn't on the mix...

in other news, the world series will be a completely boring waste of time. the yankees and the marlins, big fuckin' deal man. i think we need to replace them with some of the xbl teams. the miramichi boozers vs. the tracadie hairies would be something i'd like to see. either that or the iraqi scuds vs. the cuban missile crisis.

i did a little housecleaning on the links bar. whenever songmeanings comes back i'll add that.

2003-10-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

geocities update
stereotypical miramichiers is up on my geocities page. i got the idea for this from a group of photos of sarah ross and genevieve dressed like hicks, which sarah e-mailed me ages ago.

2003-10-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

them's darth vader farmers!
fucking blogger booted me, so i lost my entry. either way, i can still remember what i was trying to say.

anyways, i had my midterm the other day (inequality in canadian society). i think i did fine on it. i also finished my drama assignment, but it's more iffy as to how well i did on it. oh well, hopefully i'll be a little more coherent when the other ones are due. i also ran into mireille at the avard-dixon computer lab, and talked a bit with her.

last night was spent doing my laundry and hanging out with shawn and jill (steve walker's girlfriend). as was stated before, this year's frosh are undoubtedly cooler than last year's. and another observation: shafts are back. nobody seemed to pull any pranks last year.

i was going to do the people who don't piss me off list, but that will have to wait.

2003-10-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

every day is christmas when you drink santa liqeur!
the weekend was great, even though i didn't have any internet access, or did anything remotely social. just sitting in front of a tv watching episodes of upright citizens brigade and m*a*s*h, and going to northumberland square (miramichi's "good" mall). my sister and i were both surprised and impressed with justin timberlake's snl gig (he was actually funny).

sunday was the customary turkey/pumpkin pie/potatoes/gravy. good to eat actual edible food once in a while. we headed back this afternoon, ate at wendy's, and brought the printer (which was useless at home) to my room. i can print essays at three am now! sweet (sassy molassey).

this week is when the work will start piling high. oh well, as long as i keep on top of it, i'll be fine and not the wreck i was last year.

2003-10-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

ralph. jesus did not have wheels
holy shit. check this out. if you want to know why i can't completely embrace christianity-as-organized-religion, read it. i found it on one of the blogs linked on andrew's blog. please note: i'm still willing to believe in god, just as long as he doesn't require humanity to sink to new levels of stupidity, like the example i gave you. i wish god actually would come down to earth just to distance himself from wackos like pat robertson, jerry falwell, or fred phelps. even mark jones (former mount allison student and controversy-monger) was never this insane.

2003-10-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

test time

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

2003-10-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

sinner's in the kitchen, someone hide all the cheese
long time no post...i was sick. coughing up my lungs and all. i still am, but at least now i can actually get out of bed to go to class. good thing. with a few things due this week, i need to get out of my room. class is still worth getting out of bed for, anyways. education and society is the best- everyone participates, and it's not just someone standing up and talking at the class for 80 minutes. we all know each other relatively well already so it's fun.

friday night was spent hanging out with ryan, matt and lesley. we went to dooly's for a few games of pool. saturday saw the visiting jay watson come by for some partying, although i stayed home instead of going out with most of the house.

saturday also was the season premiere of snl. not bad, but it could have been better. and of course it was a step down from the other jack black episode in terms of quality. of course, it would be hard to top a show that had the new "happy birthday", the bass-off, and tenacious d. i do like the new montage and sets, though, and was glad to see they promoted will forte, the best new castmember in years, although they should have promoted fred armisen with him. i still can't pass a final judgment on the new guys, but i think kenan thompson shows promise if he cuts down on the mugging (note to kenan: you're not on nickelodeon anymore). his cosby was dead on. hopefully finesse mitchell won't become another dean edwards (who never got used to his full potential).

this year's frosh are definitely better than last year's group. i just get that vibe that was never there with last year's group. it was there the year before, but not last year or even in my year. in all fairness, though, i've gotten to know some of last year's frosh a bit better this year, and they're interesting people, but as a group, they didn't have that ooomph that this year's group has.

izzy asper, the founder of canwest global, is the newest worm food. i actually got the first canwest global station, CKND (which became global in 1997- i hate how all the canadian networks forced the affiliates to homogenize lately. i liked the differences between each station), when i lived in manitoba for nine years. i remember the 20th anniversary of CKND, where they ran all these old station promos and reruns of shows like M*A*S*H, welcome back kotter, and barney miller.

i dislike this setup for blogger, simply because it seems to be biased towards high-resolution screen settings. grrrr...

2003-09-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

this one's optimistic
so the hurricane hit halifax sunday night/monday morning, causing a lot of damage. perhaps the only way to fully describe it is to cop a phrase from jay's description of the area: "thousands of century old trees plucked from the ground like dandelions". brutal. sackville nb didn't get a lot of the hurricane, but we did get some wind and rain. so, on sunday night, me, chris garon and tim mackenzie had a bit of a "hurricane party". we walked out to the waterfowl park for the worst of it...the wind blew and the rain poured, and we were there for it. the darkness also added something to the experience...

i think one of my goals in life is to travel around canada and see what i haven't seen yet. for someone who's moved around a lot during his life, i'm amazed i still haven't even been to newfoundland, alberta, b.c., or the territories...and the last few times i travelled, it was always to get somewhere as opposed to the actual experience of travelling. i'd also like to do it without my family...maybe just with my younger sister or my older one, but definitely sans parents. i'd like to do it with a friend, actually. i'm not sure when or where this will happen...this will require some money, a mode of transport, and of course some spare time, but one of these days i'd actually do it.

2003-09-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

i'm the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminal and vulgar
so right after they closed the computer labs on me last night (the same time as the update), i ended up walking back to res. one thing led to another and i ended up going for drinks with a group of the new edwardians (ally, maggie, tim o). steve walker met up with us at ducky's although he didn't socialize much with us. afterwards, quance and i hijacked jenna's computer, downloading "sandwiches" by detroit grand pubahs (his contribution), and exposing her to the flaming lips and soundtrack of our lives (mine).

oh, i forgot about the night before, when ryan, matt, amy, allison (coady) and steve (basement jill might have been there too) were hanging out in matt's room, listening to some awesome david gray/jeff buckley/nick drake songs. and for the grand finale, matt played this really bad bollywood song called "oh my darling". curse that song!

addendum: 10 pm my cough is coming back, and a hurricane is on its way to the maritimes. huzzah.

elia kazan just bit it. does andrew have to include him (as well as donald o'connor and althea gibson) in his current conspiracy theory?

i wonder what people think of my life judging solely from these blog entries.

2003-09-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

and now, weekend update, with the weekend update news team
just a few odds and ends for tonight:

-the OintMENt is possibly one of my all-time favorite snl bits. and now, the transcript is online for you to enjoy.

-genevieve's roster photo is fucking hilarious and worthy of your attention.

2003-09-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

and there's no desperation anywhere...
ok, i've been ruminating on the topic of girlfriends for a little while, trying to decide which is better: the single life, or having a girlfriend? each has its pros and cons. frankly, i do think the single life has its perqs. i mean, if i had a girlfriend, there is the possibility that i'd have to cut people like mireille or genevieve (two people who there needs to be more of, but are impossible to completely duplicate) out of my life, especially if the girlfriend's a clingy, jealous type. that's another risk too. i might end up with someone who's completely wrong for me.

on the other hand, like most males my age, i'm a horny bastard.

i'm also feeling like i'm not experiencing the true highs of what life really is, preferring to hover about in the "safe middle ground". i'm like that, preferring not to take any risks on anything. i won't even bother going to meal hall if it looks like a skating rink outside. and with my numerous bad experiences in this field, i've become very apprehensive.

but still, sometimes i just get the feeling that i'd really want to be able to have some kind of actual relationship with someone. i feel like i'm not exactly connecting to anyone as everyone else here does.

but again, i can still do what i like, watch my shows, listen to my music, and do whatever.

i don't know what's better, though.

but i do know that mixes rock my pantaloons.

and now both george plimpton and robert palmer are ex-people too. is it a conspiracy? or is there peer pressure to die? (everyone's doing it! everyone has to do it sometime!) it seems a little odd that all these people are dropping like flies this year...maybe andrew has a conspiracy theory (perhaps involving the ghost of the sinister richard hatfield). coming soon, maybe a list of people who should sleep with one eye open...

2003-09-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

sit down...stand up...
you've never lived until you've seen fifth grader's interpretations of radiohead. i found this on kate's blog.

2003-09-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

a mythical jewish creature should not be singing a christian children's song!
just got back from sushi (sackville underground society of housebroken improvisors). it was a lot of fun, although i'm still quite new to improv. i figured i'd give it a try though. maggie and frosh-josh were also there.

today instead of eating at the mealhall we used the guise of jarrod and alma's birthdays (his 18th, her 19th) as an excuse to pack most of edwards house into remy's bistro, the new restaurant in the building where pizza delight used to be. so good...

in other news, melena is awesome on account that she likes miles davis.

2003-09-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

leonard nimoy sings supertramp
i went to the pub last night because a group of edwardians (and dave gorman) were there. i didn't drink much but it was good to hang out. afterwards i went to the bridge with a group of friends...

today i slept in, unfortunately. however, i did run into mireille on my way to check my mail (as she was checking hers as well). what's funny about this was that in her mailbox was the cd i gave her. we had a little chat (although for some reason i wasn't as conversational) and then i went to lunch. i had also run into mireille (well, passed by her) last night when i was walking downtown and she was waving to me from joey's. it's always great seeing her...

2003-09-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

another one bites the dust
now gordon jump (mr. carlson from wkrp, the maytag repairman) is dead...people really are dropping like flies this year. it's not even october, and we lose him, johnny cash, john ritter, wesley willis, katharine hepburn, bob hope, gregory hines, etc. already. those and strom thurmond too (although i think they were only keeping him and bob hope alive until they turned 100...ever notice that george burns died two months after his 100th birthday as well?)

who's next? here are some suspects that andrew, wilson and i came up with: ronald reagan, pope john paul ii, gerald ford (he is 90 after all), charlton heston

2003-09-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

just cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there
note to self: cut back on the partying. no seriously, last night was fun and all but i've drank far too much during the first two weeks of school. amy vye understands this, and i think she tied it into orientation week. all the big events are packed into these first weeks when nobody has any essays or midterms, so of course, more people are going to be drunk.

the party itself was a success...jay watson and steph hobson came up from halifax, and lindsay emenau was also there! i miss them so much...i gave lindsay a big hug when i saw her as i descended the c/d section staircase. i had no idea she was coming. jay and steph were also good to see although i saw them both before this party. i also hung out with dave gorman for a bit during the party and endured some female's housemate nonsensical advice on girls that missed the point (namely because i don't tend to go for the girls who listen to mariah carey).

steve walker told me that my attitude's much better this year. he's not the only one that's noticed.

2003-09-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

thank you for watching big brother. big brother has been watching you.
everybody else on campus is at the sloan concert. i opted not to go. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against sloan, it's just that i'm not in the mood to go into con hall with a thousand other people there. i also am unsure about the sac's track record when it comes to things like these...they haven't had a big-ticket concert here in such a long time so they may screw up on some things.

last night, though, was a different story. for the first time in history, edwards house won the spirit night competition, thanks in no small part to our boat, the "chunter", and our authentic-looking pirate outfits. drunken fun ensued afterwards with a trip to ducky's and a concert by the jimmy swift band at george's roadhouse. i hadn't been that drunk in a long time. i was also a wee bit stoned too, but i don't smoke often.

tomorrow is the floor crawl...(dook, dook, dook, dook).

2003-09-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, missster smitherrssss...
well, today was wilson mccutchan's birthday. i sent him an e-mail with greetings from numerous edwards house upperclassmen. i also sent him a picture of joel godard revealing to max weinberg and conan o'brien that he has no genitals. i love that show.

i wrote a blog entry yesterday, but the stupid mount allison network fucked up on me so it's lost forever. so here is a reasonable recap.

basically, i took back my comment about "new laurel". i can't fully judge maggie until i actually get to know her. i don't think it's wise to close the book on any possibilities of friendship or anything just on account on a few similar characteristics and personality traits to someone that i have some unpleasant memories of.

i ran into mireille in the library yesterday, and it looks like she will be the proud recipient of the mix i made. she's an awesome person and it was great seeing her again.

oh! i got stevie wonder's original musiquarium I for $20, tax included. i wasn't going to buy any more cds, but the travelling cd guy is hard to resist. and it was a good deal as it is a double-album and one of the few compilations that work.

2003-09-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

must be a devil between us
andrew wrote this blog entry a few months ago, yet i completely see where he's coming from. i mean, i'm not going to go after anyone who doesn't meet my basic requirements in a girlfriend. i'm not going to lower my standards to any pub skank who shows me the least bit attention just because i want a girlfriend. fuck that. there's got to be someone that's worth it. but a girlfriend is not everything...

one of the frosh has been dubbed "the new laurel" by several of my friends. this disturbs me. the last thing i need is a new laurel. the old laurel was bad enough. i am not going to go down that road i went last year.

i went to dave gorman's party last night. some thought it was a bust because there was a misunderstanding about the time to come, as well as the fact that nobody knew it was byob. my tolerance for alcohol has gone way down over the summer. after two shots with jenna, amelie et al, and a bacardi breezer, i was a little silly in the head. i had a rambling conversation with erin, domenique, andrew smith, and gorman after everyone left. conversations like that are better than dancing in my opinion.

2003-09-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

dying, the latest celebrity fad
is it just me or is 2003 the year when everyone seems to be dropping like flies? both johnny cash and john ritter just died. everyone seems to be going this year, from bob hope to gregory hines to warren zevon to lynne thigpen to charles bronson to barry white. of course, i knew a few of these people were ill and near death's door, but the question is who's next?

2003-09-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

i said this can't be me, must be my double
sorry, i couldn't resist posting again today. it was such a nice day out: warm, but not too warm, sunny, etc. anyways, it was a perfect day for walking around sackville. i never get to see this place much when it's all green and sunny, so i'm taking advantage of this weather. i may snap a few photos just for good measure.

i ran into a former housemate of mine...basically caught up on our master plans for the year. he brought up something that i still think i need to address:

i told him that i was quite happy that laurel, the one that caused my slow descent into madness last december was on the other side of the world for the year. actually, i added "not far enough". he actually said he missed her "in-your-faceness". going over that conversation in my head, i am not actually sure what my final stance on her is. do i miss her? am i glad she's gone?

in retrospect she was a bit homely, and face it, she was a cocktease. none of my friends really felt she was the most pleasant to be around either. i sort of tried the friendship route with her, but i don't think i really care anymore. i never felt completely comfortable talking to her before or afterwards. there were things i liked about her, but those things aren't enough to me now. it's not like we have to live in the same building anymore, and i don't think i value her company enough to try to extend things anymore. i have friends that i feel complete euphoria after i talk to them. with laurel, i just felt awkward, sickened and emasculated.

i think i'm at a place where i can just be open about this and try not to codify the whole deal.

i think i resolve never to bother again...no woman is worth my potential self-destruction. i don't think i should even care anymore that i don't have a girlfriend. unless someone comes around that gives me something that's worth it, i'm going to live by homer simpson's words: "son, you tried your hardest and you failed. the important lesson here is: never try". well, not entirely that bad, but i have better things to focus my energies on.

oh! new mix!. who should i give this to?

2003-09-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

you're spleen is mine, billy, all mine...
i still don't know the names of all of the frosh in the house or anything, but at least they're starting to look more and more familiar. i can tell who some of them are (mainly aaron and jarrod) as well as a few of the transfers. oh well, by november i should have them memorized. i didn't even know what kate storey looked like until then.

mike mohammed's presence is still being missed in the section. i may have to steal billy's spleen.

2003-09-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

i forgot to add
if you are viewing this page, and you know me, please sign the guestbook so i know who you are. also, i am a little desparate for e-mail.

2003-09-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

i wouldn't go in there, they're handing out bulgarian money today
well, i'm back at mount a. and we all know what that means. free cooter. no, i'm sorry, that's incorrect. it does mean the return of bongohead and socialization. 2a's looking pretty good this year. the younger brother of an edwards house legend is my next door neighbor.

sadly, mt. a women's rugby is not varsity this year, which means that st. mary's will not be playing against us (aka: they're too good). in other words, no gen. st. mary's women's rugby could probably beat our football team. actually, st. mary's field hockey could probably beat our football team. anyways, this sucks that my opportunity to see gen has been fucked around with, but if her family's back in miramichi, that may mean i will get to see her after all. i don't get to see her enough. last year, when i last saw her in person, it had been over two years since the last time i saw her. in the words of the guy in the commercial on mr. show, "fucky fuck fuck".

in other news, the riaa is still evil. so is the crtc. the crtc is the only reason why mike bullard is famous.

sorry this doesn't make sense but i'm sleep deprived.

2003-08-31T21:29:00.000-07:00

cookie i think you're TAAAAAMME!
pretty uneventful weekend if i may say so myself. on account of me sleeping in i didn't get much accomplished saturday, except for a couple of snl dubs. i couldn't get to sleep last night because my body clock is completely fucked up, so i caught this crazy televangelist guy whose propoganda runs on ASN sunday mornings. garner ted armstrong, i believe. fuck, this guy was going on about the "disunited non-nations" threatening america's sovereignty and complaining about the "mud hut capitals" of african nations getting the same voting power as the united states. i noticed he was from texas. make sense. no wonder bush gave organized religion all that money...he basically bribed them into scaring old people into voting for him (or they would burn in hell with the peoples of "eye-raq" and the dixie chicks, who i think the televangelist would still like to see "stray-apped" to the bomb and dropped on "burk-EYE-NA fa-SO"). leave the politics out of this, boys...you just want to suck up to bush and scare people away from those "immoral democrats" so he'd get back into office and give you another eleventy billion dollars. i hope bush is voted out of office, because just imagine how much worse off the states would be after another four years with that demented idiot in power. (apologies to all demented idiots who aren't george w. bush).

afterwards, ASN started their educational block, which still has the same opening title sequence from when i used to watch ASN in pictou...you know, with the "eine kleine nachtmusik" and the books, upperclass/academic looking setting, and the words "educational television service" on that ancient computer. they still seem to be running "the newcomers", a miniseries that ran on CBC in the late 70s about immigrants coming to canada (i remember ASN ran them 15 years ago as well). this would not be so interesting except that the miniseries was produced by my great-uncle dick (who i don't know) and one of the segments, "1911", is actually about my maternal great-grandfather. unfortunately that segment wasn't run today but i think i'll try to keep my eyes peeled for it. my mother taped it before but only got part of it. i'd like to give her a good quality recording of it sometime.

i reshaved my head again this morning with the mach 3...i kind of like having the draft and the weird smooth sensation of my scalp. i buzzed it down in saint john, let it grow for a week, shaved it smooth last monday, let it grow, and reshaved this morning. i think i may want to reshave right before i head back to mount a. i may also use this opportunity to get some sun on it before it turns to fall. hopefully i won't burn. i don't think i got any sun this summer, mainly because of the night shift job i had. and of course the weather got cold last week (hopefully it will be as nice as it was today again this week).

it's getting down to the wire...less than one week before i head back. i want to use this year to get my shit together. i resolve to finally get my work done on time, keep more organized, get me started on a budget, etc. etc. i think i also need to get a service new brunswick photo id (basically the driver's license without the driving part). who knows, i may also get my shit together enough to net me a relationship. i need to get past the "awkward and inept" stage when in comes to my relationships with women. i guess this whole burst of resolution comes with the realization that i'm 21 years old, and i can't keep living the way i do if i want to live in the real world. i'm taking an extra year at mount a, both for personal reasons as well as the fact that it delays my inevitable stumble into the outside world for another year. but i need to lose some habits, get my life together, take some stands, and basically don't let my fear, indecision or passivity keep me in the rut i'm in. i can't live at home much longer...i feel like i'm stuck in some sort of arrested development. part of it stems from when me and my sisters, all of us non-drivers, want to go somewhere in town: basically mom or dad have to chauffeur us thanks to the lack of bus service. and i don't really know a lot of people in town anyways, at least not a lot of people i'm close to. it looks pretty sad with all five of us crammed into the ford LTD.

and look at me, i'm using capitals in this entry. that's a start. i'll never switch back to proper writing though...lowercase still looks more "bloggy".

2003-08-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

elementary, my dear sitting bull!
ok, i'm back. i admit that i've been ignoring the old blogger, but then again, i've ignored a lot of things. saint john was fun because it's an actual city, plus it's good to see the parts of new brunswick we never see. the stretch of highway 1 between sussex and saint john i liked, because of the hills and the fog...reminds me of places i never get to go anymore...the main scenery between miramichi and sackville is crap, especially if you're on the 126 to moncton. it's flatter than manitoba and so fucking boring, with the railroad on one side of the road and alternating trees/houses on the other. at least on the 11 and trans-canada you feel like you're going somewhere, and the 8 to fredericton is pretty. i also like driving along the coast towards caraquet too. anyways, getting off that tangent, saint john was pretty nice. a lot of really old buildings but it still felt like a city. a bit more interesting than moncton (though moncton has better stuff, retail-wise). going back, we went up the 7 through fredericton (although i knew andrew was probably working so i didn't bother calling him up) and went home on the 8.

my older sister christy and her cat willow left for tasiujaq on the 24th, but not before the impromptu trip to bathurst the week before. i guess she wanted st-hubert for the last time before she went up. her cooking is already missed around here.

fuck, it's so close to school starting again. i know i'm not as apathetic about it as i was last year...it'll be different with the new dons and the large numbers of frosh. i'm a little worried about 2a being the new "ghost town" section. two people from last year's "ghost town" are scheduled to move in, and the one guy in the section who probably would prevent the complete ghost town situation moved out. billy, andrew and i remain from last year, but they're both quite studious and i'm not super-outgoing. the quiet was one thing about 2a that i liked the past two years, but i worry that without someone like scott, jay, or mike mohammed, we are headed towards "mighty quiet around here...too quiet" land. we need another "cruise director" like mike was...andrew could do the job. actually, it could be split between him and me. just need to coordinate some activities to bring the section together...section dinners from last year were awesome, and the parties from the year before were also good. we'll see what this year brings. hopefully i won't have a crush on any of the frosh like i did with cockteaser from last year. god, that was a dark period.

i've noticed in the site meter thing that a lot of people find this page by searching for "jenna mccullough". are they searching for the one i went to school with at kildonan east? why do they keep looking for that? i know she played field hockey and graduated university but i have a suspicion that they think i'm obsessed with her because i mentioned her cameo in an odd dream i had a few month ago (which wasn't even about her!) unless there's some porn star with that name then maybe it's just another case of "mislead pervert syndrome". but seriously, if people from kildonan east are looking for this page just because i mentioned her: fuck off.

going back to the past, i've been dubbing some snls that i still have from summer '94, with the commercials still on the tape. they kind of get me thinking about who i was, where i was, etc. back then. it's weird. i'm never going to have that same sensation that i had when i was twelve. of course, i wouldn't want to go back to where i was back then (selkirk manitoba, 1994), but still, watching those tapes kind of give me a weird nostalgiac feeling. my innocence is still part of those decaying old videos (well, not exactly decaying...they still look quite good, and at least they don't have the infamous tracking problem).

i got my article printed. my mom makes a bigger deal about it than i do. i can see all sorts of grammatical errors, thanks to the sleep-deprived mindset i was in when i wrote it (shouldn't have gone to the tide with steve and the guys).

there's something on my mind lately, music-wise: i really hate it when you buy a cd and then the remastered version comes out. i'm still weighing the pros and cons of upgrading (and selling my old copies). i think maybe "tea for the tillerman" by cat stevens would be at the top of the upgrade list simply because the old cd sounds like it was mastered by deaf people. the levels are too low for a lot of the songs (even though this is an acoustic cd, you should be able to hear more than you do with that version).

maybe "bridge over troubled water" and "bookends" by simon & garfunkel could also be upgraded...i have the remastered "parsley sage rosemary and thyme" and i'm glad i waited for the new version. all the s&g reissues have bonus tracks, but i think the two later albums deserve the upgrades. not only do i like those two the best, but they have more production than the first two (a strict acoustic album and a folk-rock cash-in). there are strings, drums, etc. that sound quite flat on cd. i'm also debating upgrading "crisis? what crisis?" by supertramp (oddly enough, the old "even in the quietest moments..." issue sounds fine..."crisis?" is ok in some places, but leaves a lot to be desired in others such as the quieter tracks or "a soapbox opera"'s string section...the remastered "crime of the century" sounds good so i'm tempted). yeah, you heard me...supertramp.

why upgrade? well, now the record companies are finally treating cd versions as the main copy. the older albums just seemed like "alternatives" to tape or lp, and a lot of the time the liners and photography aren't included in favor of a "form-letter" booklet that looks half-assed. and of course the sound. but i wouldn't do it just because a new issue came out. my bob dylan cds all sound ok without remastering (hybrid sacds come out in the fall and although i'll wait until they come out to get what i don't have, i don't need to replace my existing copies just yet), but the cat stevens album i would like to get. basically, this issue is based on how bad the old discs sound. if it sounds ok, i'll leave it. if it sounds really flat and thin, it's a candidate for upgrading. and some companies do really good jobs with the remastered discs...the miles davis cds from legacy recordings/sony sound awesome. they don't sound old. of course it helps that jazz (except for fusion) doesn't date as bad as rock does.

i must be off...even though i haven't worked since the 11th (lousy slow month), i've still been staying up late. sooner or later i'll have a few more ideas for andrew's latest project. he and i are already going to hell for stephen hawking dance party. we're evil, i know.

2003-08-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

the city you live in is ugly, but it wasn't meant to be
some recent articles in the local paper, the leader, have actually been quite interesting. it all started at the beginning of the month when the valedictorian of this year's graduating class at mvhs wrote about why she needed to get out of town to pursue a future. she said a lot of things that needed to be said, in all honesty. young people really are treated like crap here, and the future offered by the mill and the call centers is practically emotional and spiritual suicide. and god forbid you don't like hockey. or like something that's outside of the mainstream or accepted by the old people. or not have roots here.

of course, people got offended by the article. in all honesty, though, the offended people whose letters were published, were just proving her point. so much condenscending bullshit! young people are really persona non grata around here. they tell us to volunteer and go to the existing festivals. what if we're busy, doing so much with school and the community already? what if we're not that outgoing in the first place? and these people forget one key thing...young people don't like hanging out with middle aged people, the elderly, or their parents. maybe in bizarro world they do, but teenagers would rather jump into vats of acid than go to a lot of these "festivals".

i wrote a letter in support of her article, and they asked me to write my own piece...it won't be as visceral as this blog entry but there needs to be some things addressed.

lessee, what else: melena rocks.

i haven't been able to work lately...it's really slow at canadian tire, and the blackout in ontario didn't help at all. one shift this week and no shift next week. dammit, i need the money!

and i'm going to saint john today. i'll be back.

2003-08-07T16:40:00.000-07:00

hornless unicorn!
i think i've been a victim of "small world syndrome" far too many times. it seems that my life is very cyclic in relation to people we know. what's unnerving about it though is the sheer randomness of some of these things. let's look at the examples (warning: name dropping ahead...though not on the level of dick cavett...yet):
-valley gardens, 1995: i move from selkirk (the asshole of canada) to north kildonan in winnipeg. at the same junior high is lovita vandor from my 3rd grade class, who i hadn't seen since she moved to libau at the end of that year. even weirder is the case of dana johnson. we both went to selkirk junior high but didn't know each other, and without even knowing it moved across the street from each other and went to the same school.
-fredericton, 1999: this is a doozy. my mom overhears a familiar voice while shopping at lewiscraft in fredericton. it's denise benner, a friend of my parents from long ago. we lived in regina around the same time but they hadn't seen each other in twelve years, when they moved to australia. i think my parents knew colin and/or denise back in university too. anyway, this meeting proves crucial for the next year, as the benners provide a contact for christy, and a place to stay for my father during the time he worked at wal-mart. they have since moved to costa rica, but if it wasn't for that chance encounter, that first year in miramichi would have gone a lot worse than it did.
-mount allison university, 2000-present: nowhere as bizarre as the first two, mainly because this is a by-product of me living in the maritimes when i was younger and then moving back and going to university here. however, some of these things still freak me out. first off, is the time in first-year psyc (aka "bad lecture") when the teacher is handing back assignments and calling out the names. all of a sudden i hear "koralee chaisson", which is the name of a classmate of mine all the way back to the days i lived in sherwood, pei, when i was attending "happy day christian kindergarten" (because pei didn't have real kindergarten). how i remembered her after all those years escapes me, but it may have something to do with the uncommon name. anyways, mount allison also has a quite a few students from pictou, nova scotia, another town in which i lived. one particularly notable encounter was at my house party (electric circus) in my second year, when i was a little drunk and talking with some of the partygoers in the lounge, one of whom turns out to be none other than kristelle stright, the daughter of the other presbyterian minister in town (my dad being one of them).

i wonder how many more encounters like this will happen in my lifetime. probably too many. i can just see it, i'm walking down the street somewhere and someone from winnipeg or miramichi or selkirk recognizes me. i remember one time just before i left winnipeg, i ran into a classmate of mine from junior high, who was working at future shop. we hadn't seen each other since junior high ended, so it was a nice surprise. he told me that he never forgot me from those days. i've noticed that i seem to make an impression on people...people i don't recognize or remember always are saying hi to me whenever i'm back home in miramichi. sometimes it's a nice surprise to see someone you've absolutely lost touch with for years. the other day, just before work started, a classmate of mine from mvhs was shopping at canadian tire with her husband and twins. that was an interesting experience. time is a funny thing. i know that unless i see a person in the present or recent past, my last memory of them is pretty much the way i still perceive them. if i'm talking to someone from winnipeg, i still kind of see the 17 year old version of them in my mind. i've even managed to come into contact with a few classmates from selkirk. despite them being 20+, i still can only see the 13-year-old (at most) version in my mind.

tonight i'm going to probably put signs up for the sale at canadian tire. this week's too quiet, since the honour kids aren't there. which means i'm the youngest again and the only one under 40 there. at least the weekend's coming.

2003-08-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

you were k-y jelly, i was vaseline
the long weekend was ok, not particularly interesting. my parents friends came over monday night, and again on tuesday morning, and my family went to escuminac on a foggy monday. it was too cold for me, though. that didn't stop me from getting exhausted though. i was so tired on monday night that i didn't feel like visiting. i needed to sleep.

i've been thinking more about where i am religiously. i think i'm in a state of flux...at this point i'm just so sick of my dad being jerked around by the bureaucracy of the church that i don't feel like going anymore. i'm also pretty much uncomfortable with the church period, because i just feel that "christianity" the religion is at odds with who i am personally. i'm too cynical to be one of those "happy", somewhat naive christians, and i'm not a big fan of the authoritarian, rules oriented followers either. maybe it's just because i'm bitter with all that stuff that's happened to my dad in the last ten years, but i just don't know where i stand spiritually anymore. my mother is always "remember to still be a christian", but she must be pretty naive if she thinks that i can go on like i did as a child with all that's happened. i think my faith peaked at 16-17, but after moving here and then getting fucked by the presbytery, i don't think it could ever be up at that level again.

and don't get me started on the music. i don't think god would want us to forgo creativity in favor of the same old stuff in different packages, but tell that to most proponents of christian music. i think a lot of christian music is the same, either the lame "rip-off" of popular music (because it's not "christian" to actually do something artistically valid), or the choruses that are basically rewrites of the bible. there are some people who actually work their faith into their music in interesting ways, but they're in the secular field. most "christian" music is cloying and lame, and a lot of that stuff is meant more to be sung, not to be listened to as "entertainment".

i'm not saying there's no god, and that jesus was a sham, but i don't think christianity as we know it today has any relation to his teachings anymore. it's all imbedded in tradition and dogma.

i think another problem i have with the church is the pressure to marry young. i don't think it's a good idea. some people shouldn't get married until they're older anyway. and the rules about mates and what to do with them. even though earlier i did say something about wanting to marry a christian, i don't think that's as important anymore. face it, the qualities i seek in a mate and "christianity" are at odds with each other. i'm also starting to reconsider my position on sex before marriage. we live much longer than we used to, and i don't think it's fair to make people wait and wait, especially if they don't get married until middle age. i don't agree with meaningless casual sex, but marriage is a serious step. i'm not going to enter in it just to avoid sin. i'd have to be completely in love before this. and since i've got my quirks, i don't think the "not living together before we're married" thing would work for me.

that being said, i believe that marriage is not taken seriously anymore, especially with the high divorce rate and all. if a marriage is completely unhappy, "not making god mad" is not a valid reason to stay together. preying upon peoples fears just to keep them in a bad situation is another beef i have with religion. abuse is grounds for divorce, not just "for worse". and with people treat marriage like dating in these times, they split up without even trying to make it work. marriage is a fucking serious decision! it's not to be entered lightly, which is why frankly i'm more for a long-term relationship than for "vows". i might get married, but for a while.

jon stewart made a joke on the daily show regarding how the religious groups are against gay marriage. his joke was about how they don't say anything about horrible reality shows that use marriage as a theme (eg, married by america). if these shows are considered acceptable, then they have absolutely no right to complain about gay marriage.

onto a happier topic: songs i like. "moonrock mambo" by yo la tengo would only be awesome just for that wordless vocal line from georgia hubley, but any song that namechecks both professor frink from the simpsons and jill talley (of mr. show) rocks my pantaloons. i also like "tonight" by soundtrack of our lives. it's both beautiful and it conjugates the verb "to be"!

2003-08-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

"boobies!"- the titté brothers
so i went to halifax on the 27th and 28th...despite the car acting up, it was a good trip. we saw missy, i dropped tapes off at donnie's (and got some in return), hung out with jay watson downtown, and got some cds. i've always liked halifax more than most canadian cities...i especially like it more than the so-called city i live in (it barely even qualifies as a town).

and at least i was able to get back in time for work. it's not a bad job (especially compared to ict), but i'm glad it's the long weekend. hopefully things will pick up this month work wise...last month was relatively slow, and i ended up with a few nights off, which not only means less money, but really messes around with my sleep schedule.

let's see...a few people had birthdays recently: mireille (july 30th) and charles (aug. 3rd).

damn, i always feel like saying something, but when i actually get around to blogging, i forget what i'm going to say, or i don't feel up to doing it. i hate when that happens.

2003-07-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

things that piss me off
ok, there are several subjects which really get under my skin right now...i'm going to list a few of them and explain what about them pisses me off:
the music industry, specifically the riaa
this would inevitably be at the top of my list. i have had it with their tactics for way too long, and now that they've started handing out subpoenas to people who have music downloaded on their computer, they've finally gone too far. they are, in effect, a lobby group whose basically pissed off because this downloading doesn't make them enough money, which they were hoping to use to ruin music even further. i know janis ian has an article on her site that weighs in on the whole download controversy, and i'm inclined to agree with her conclusions: the industry isn't concerned about protecting "artistic freedom" or anything close to it. in fact, they've come out against artistic freedom (and consumers) time and time again. i have a feeling that they would probably start suing the consumer for buying the wrong albums. or even worse: "for buying an old catalogue release by bob dylan instead of the new christina aguilera album, you will be sued $1 million dollars. for buying a miles davis album instead of any of the riaa-approved "jazz" artists (ie kenny g.), you will be sent to prison for five years, where a riaa-commissioned enforcer will anally rape you for this period. and finally, when these sentences have finished, you will be put to death for buying a release from a smaller label: we will light you on fire and laugh as you burn to death. HEIL RIAA!" this of course is an exaggeration, but i wouldn't put them past them for punishing people who buy the wrong albums. sure, i download music, but not a whole lot (mainly due to my dial-up connection). and never whole albums either. i just don't think i should pay $15-25 for one or two songs. remember that argument they made about how downloading music was like walking out of a record store without paying for the cd? well, what's the right analogy for only downloading one or two songs from the album? as well, downloading helped me find some bands i otherwise wouldn't have known i liked (yo la tengo, for example). and another thing: i buy a lot of music anyway...the thing is: i usually do my research on the album before hand, and i don't just buy whatever's the number one album at the time. but that wouldn't matter to the riaa...i think that what needs to be done is a temporary moratorium on buying (and downloading) music. just to hit the riaa and carey "fuckface" sherman where it hurts. i probably wouldn't be able to publicize it enough to make any difference though.

the religious right
recently, i found out that pat robertson was urging his viewers to pray for the retirement of the more liberal supreme court justices so that conservative ones could be put in. and if the americans have an all conservative supreme court, that would be in his twisted little mind be more democratic. he probably wouldn't rest until anyone further left on the political spectrum than him is eradicated. the same goes for jerry falwell. fuck, that guy pisses me off. have you noticed that god is only on the side of the right wing? i'd hate for god to prefer evil big business over human rights. no wonder so many people are athiests. anyways, on the subject of the right wing:
the bush government
let's face it, he's ruined america. it doesn't matter how many people he puts out of work in his own country, just as long as he gets his revenge on the guy who tride to kill his dad. in all fairness, his dad should have finished the job. dubya's rationale for war was more like "he's a big meanie!" i would have felt more confident about the war if the republicans actually had a decent leader doing the honours, but nooo...america's under the thumb of a retarded frat boy and his war-boner-posessing buddies. frankly, my theory is that bush wants to turn iraq into a getaway for him and his rich buddies, thus leaving all the poor people (he put out of work) to suffer in america. he'd probably cut off aid (and outlaw things like soup kitchens) under the guise of "homeland security"..no matter how wrong it is, if he uses the right words, he apparently can "justify" it.

other things that bug me include: jennifer lopez, the crtc, the radio, and reality television

2003-07-09T06:31:00.000-07:00

mogey-pa, mogey-pa, mogey mogey mogey
again, for some reason i never get around to posting things here. maybe it's because i work 9 pm to 6 am every weekday. maybe its because of a second trip to fredericton to pick up my mom and sisters. maybe it's because my aunt and uncle from ontario came for a visit. or maybe because i'm just lazy.

anyways, i'll expand on a few of the things i mentioned...on the 29th, i had to pick the girls up from fredericton, but also took advantage of the trip to drop off a video i made for andrew consisting of snl and upright citizens brigade episodes. from there dad and i went to the airport, where the girls were waiting...we ate out in fredericton at keystone kelly's (because the one in miramichi had closed a few years ago and we miss the food). so we learned about what they did in winnipeg and what changed. first off: the eatons building downtown is gone. which pisses me off...i know the chain's out of business but that's a waste of a beautiful old building. second: they had to look at a lot of wedding pictures. third: carrie realized she hated winnipeg after all. coming back, she says, was like a nightmare because some things looked familiar, but enough was different to be like those dreams where you're in a somewhat familiar setting but there were some really recognizable "errors" to clue you in that this wasn't reality. fourth: they met lloyd robertson at the airport in toronto (getting his shoes shined) and got a picture of him. ("he has a beautiful voice", my mom says).

the whole week at home wasn't as boring as i thought it would be, but it was so fucking hot and sticky we couldn't do anything. it was interesting though when the girls called from the fellettis' house in winnipeg, and i ended up talking to mike felletti for the first time in like five years...that was great. he's still hilarious. i still think it was kind of short sighted for the girls to leave us at home without resources or video rental cards.

oh. christy bought be the special edition of "the dark side of the moon"...for some reason i always seem to wait to get the most popular album by a band (same deal goes for "sgt. pepper"). it's a good cd, though.

which brings me to this weekend's visit from aunt lina and uncle clarence from grimsby...it's always great to see them, and i'm glad we actually had some visitors this summer. being in miramichi often feels like being cut off from the world so it's good to have some contact with people from "away" as the stereotypical miramichiers would say. the main highlight was the sunday trip to escuminac beach...the water was so nice and it was a great day to go. the other good thing about this visit was that we ate better than we usually do so as to be welcoming hosts and all.

a trip to bathurst is on this weekend's agenda.

i have a feeling that right before i go back to school i'm going to want to shave my head again. i got some pictures back with me and my shaved head in them and i like the way i look without hair, mainly because with hair i just look weird, with the receding hairline and thinning hair and all. i'm 21 but i look older because of the hairline. i also like shaving my head because i don't like going to the hairdresser. i'd rather get rid of my hair than to get some haircut that i have to "style" or anything.

speaking of said pictures, i noticed in the one of laurel i took before she left that the poem i wrote her anonymously for her birthday is visible in the frame...i'm not sure if she ever figured it out that i wrote it but i figure, hey, it doesn't matter that she knows it now or anything.

oh, i do have some more dvds: the futurama box set and high fidelity. i also started a private yahoo group about (what else) snl. if you feel you can participate in a serious discussion of some snl episodes (namely the nbc broadcasts and the classic episodes that run afterward), i may let you join, provided the group doesn't get hijacked by quotefests and discussion of buffy the vampire slayer.

i think it would be an idea if i sent some e-mails to people...maybe work on other things as well.

2003-06-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

j'ai des grands instants de lucididididididi...
again, i don't post until i leave town. maybe it's also because the new blogger setup is taking forever to load on my computer, maybe it's just because i've been so busy with work. anyways, i went to fredericton on saturday to drop the girls off at the airport so they can get to winnipeg. so basically that means that me and dad have the house to ourselves the whole week. it's a shame that most of the week consists of sleep all day, work all night, though. anyways, back to fredericton. since i was down there i met up with andrew, and he showed me some stuff on his computer, and we also watched his "clerks uncensored" dvd (the animated series that abc cancelled after two shows). so at least i was able to socialize with someone my own age for a change...at work i'm the youngest one there (on my shift) by a wide margin.

that night i finally went on msn for the first time in ages...had chats with gen and jordan, which was good. then i dubbed some snl and went to sleep...i've been so tired lately it sucks. lousy bizarre sleep patterns i must keep.

it kind of sucks being in the miramichi, working a shift that doesn't allow for much socialization, and there aren't that many people here who i still talk with anyway. maybe sometime i should meet up with steve again.

i need to fix the sidebar again.

the aforementioned andrew is one of the many people who are rightfully pissed off at the record industry. and he has good reason to, those corrupt corporate whores.

oh, one more thing: friday, i got a postcard from wilson with a picture of peter sellers on it...the writing on the back? "dr. strangelove, or how i learned to stop worrying and love the CEB!". the fact that it was addressed to "benji johannes douwsma" gave away who it was from.

2003-06-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

i'm not sad, i'm good in bed...
long time no post...i've been too busy with work. it's messed up my internal clock pretty badly so day is night and night is day. but, that's not all i've been up to: i went to moncton yesterday to pick up my older sister christy, who's home from tasiujaq, qc for the summer. thanks to her we now have a cheap dvd player...i'm looking for dvd recommedations, actually, so if you know any movies or tv show sets worth checking out, e-mail me. we have a few dvds (waiting for guffman, princess bride, lord of the rings, ocean's eleven, hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) but those are my sister's and she'll probably bring them back north for the fall.

one of these days i'm going to do something similar to what andrew did for his favorite albums, but have me evaluate some albums that i bought regardless of whether they're favorites or not. maybe start with the ten most recent albums i got.

anyway, i better get a nap before work.

2003-06-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

forget her jake, it's chinatown
well, futurama ran this weekend. on saturday global ran "jurassic bark" from earlier this season, and fox ran "the sting" tonight. both episodes were quite good: "jurassic bark" even made me cry (it's the ending). there, i admit it. i also admit that the movie magnolia made me cry. anyways, back to the topic at had: both episodes showed that the writers were really good at combining outright hilarity with downright emotional material. and the sci-fi theme as well as the fact that it's animated of the series kind of gives it kind of a freedom to do whatever. i curse the fools at fox for cancelling this show.

from what i've heard, matt groening gave fox the rights to the simpsons a while back. this explains everything! i doubt that matt groening would have asked the writers to put in a scene where homer gets raped by a panda. i hate fox! lousy right-wing, public intelligence-lowering, shit-pushing excuse of a network. and yet they're doing another "joe millionaire". the novelty's gone, you fuckers...like anyone who's even heard of the show will be fooled that the new guy is a millionaire. unless they seem to be scouring special-ed grads. no wait, i take that back. special ed students are far smarter than fox's target audience. even a raccoon would be insulted by the quality of programming on fox. i hate reality television. i think there should be a ban on it.

i also hate my computer...the thing freezes up far too often for my liking, and it's so fucking slow. having dial-up doesn't help but neither does the fact that it's a pentium 166!

i taped chinatown off of bravo today. bravo rocks. at least in canada. i prefer to tape movies off of bravo or showcase because they can run them without doing the editing. i like that mr. show with the sketch about the edited-for-tv mob movie, though: "you mother(father)! you piece of sh(oe)!"

2003-05-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

our mutual loathing and distrust of hippies brought us together!
so i've been working nights at canadian tire...it's not too bad although now my internal clock is fucked. but at least i'm getting money. this week i'm stocking the auto parts and decals and stuff. when i had to put away the "fast and the furious" steering wheel cover, my thoughts turned to andrew and his hatred of that movie and the hellspawn of riced-out cars it inspired. there should have never been a sequel.

i watched my mr. show tapes again this weekend. carrie (my younger sister) thinks that jill talley looks a lot like gen, particularly in the show where she plays "older superstar", bob and david's "daughter". mr. show fucking rocked. just look at the list of people who were on it: bob odenkirk, david cross, tom "spongebob" kenny, jill talley, john ennis, jack black, sara silverman, mary lynn rajskub, jerry minor...

just for fun, here's a list of songs i've been digging lately, and why:
"does everyone stare"- the police: this is a fairly obscure track from regatta de blanc (the album with "walking on the moon" on it), but it's probably the most interesting. there's this weird german cabaret-inspried piano riff throughout the song, but that's not the only reason i like this song. it basically sums up all the crushes i've had in recent memory, particularly the end of the last verse: "last of all i'm sorry cause you never asked for this/i can see i'm not your type and my shots will always miss". sad but true, folks.
"race for the prize"- the flaming lips: really great opener for the soft bulletin. it's got this interesting sound, pretty bombastic in its dynamics with the strings and all, but the synthesizer kind of makes it more memorable. lyrically, i like it that it gets a little more hopeless in the end of the song, changing the first line of the chorus from "theirs is to win if it kills them" to "theirs is to win/it will kill them".
"chikubi"- young and sexy: the first time i heard this song was when jay hitchhiked all the way to mount a from bc. he brought this cd-rom of short filmed pieces put to indie rock by a bunch of people with a lot of time on their hands. anyways, the film this was matched to was a lynx chasing a rabbit up north. it was slowed down, but it gives the songs only lyrics ("there's no need to be/shy or sad or coy with me/there's no need to be/anything but young and sexy") a sinister edge. but musically i like this song, because it kind of mixed a few parts. the wordless vocals at the beginning seem to fit scenes where some extremely wonderful woman first enters someone's life or the room or whatever.

i'd post more but i'm tired.

2003-05-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

you've handled my ass pennies!
just a quick note to say that cait and dustin moved to blurty...just updated the links. songmeanings is down so i took down that link

2003-05-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

hong kong danger duo
well, i finally got my tapes of ucb and exit 57 yesterday. finally, i got to see the "titular line in 'star wars'" sketch! it sucks that the comedy network would rather air mike bullard and just for laughs gags over these shows and strangers with candy. of course, the comedy network has a long history of favoring cheap, easy-to-produce, canadian content-quota filling shit over actual comedy. unless they start running mr. show, snl and kids in the hall again, i don't think i'd watch it that much.

i'm working at canadian tire for a few nights...they needed some extra help with stocking the shelves at night. at least i'll be earning a few extra bucks, which i'm desparate for.

i have that "makeover makeover" song from clone high in my head.

so snl's season finale ran last night...pretty good show overall. since it's the end of the season, i'll give my thoughts on the season:
ranking the shows
the shows with christopher walken, dan aykroyd and john mccain were the best three of the year, followed very closely by ray liotta, ray romano, nia vardalos, and al gore. the season was ok. aside from those shows, the rest of the season was ok, with only sarah michelle gellar, robert deniro and jeff gordon being the bottom of the pile (bernie mac narrowly escaped). not really one of the best seasons overall but after taking the losses of will ferrell and ana gasteyer, it needed to find a new anchor.
things to fix
-first off: the host/music selection is not my favorite. the hosts this year for the most part have done alright (with deniro's cue card dependency, which, unlike walken's, is not used to great effect, and jeff "why am i here?" gordon being the major exceptions), but there seems to be more of an emphasis on who will bring in the kiddies (ashton kutcher anyone?) over who would actually do well. the politicians, though, weren't bad, and for the most part the hosts worked well. i still found brittany "anorexia" murphy too disturbing to fully enjoy even if the show had the "time travelling scott joplin" sketch. as for the musical guests, they still suck. the big sweeps months of may and november both had three "hip-hop/r&b" acts in a row (although technically sean paul is "dancehall"...but, if mno played the mp3 from her computer, it's still hip-hop/r&b to me). i was pleased to see them book some actual good musical guests for february sweeps. the dixie chicks can play instruments (and i like them better than most other country bands), beck is awesome, and the foo fighters were alright as well. as well, there were some good guests peppered throughout the year (bruce springsteen, white stripes, phish). still, though, snl should have never booked avril lavigne as a musical guest. i can't stand that whiny wannabe. i'm more punk than she is. "complicated" sounds like a country song. and as for the other token "punk" band, good charlotte, i don't think so. if snl thinks that by booking good charlotte, sum-41 and blink-182, they're catering to the punks, they are clearly going by the mtv definition of punk, because they're what is defined by webster's and oxford as "whores".

-second thing that's a problem: recurring characters. it's sad that the show has to bring back recurring characters so often. i can live without seeing another "jarrett's room" (aka the jimmy and horatio giggle fest). they run them all into the ground sooner or later. even the new guys' bits, which are actually funny, would have worked fine if they only did them once. it's to the point where you can actually tell when they're grooming characters to be the next "cheerleaders" or "wayne & garth". as well, this year they've done a character, then reprised it only two weeks later. are they trying to make us sick of them?

-another issue: jimmy fallon. i used to think he was quite funny, but it seems that lorne michaels is pushing him just to draw the "screaming teenage girl" demographic. he's not doing what made him funny (ie: the impressions), and when he does an impression, it's nowhere as good as the ones as he used to do. his pat o'brien impression is not that funny, and yet they keep bringing him back. they also seem to prefer to let jimmy coast on his personality instead of act in sketches. when jimmy and horatio break character, it's accepted because of the girls going "aww, jimmy's so cute when he laughs". it's like he's not making an effort to keep in character any more. the absolute worst jimmy moment this year was the fish tank sketch...it went nowhere, and was basically an excuse for jimmy to get screen time. and yet, his coasting comes just as his star is rising. congratulations jimmy, you've sold out to the mtv crowd.

-last, they've been doing something this season that bugs me. they've been rebroadcasting the shows only weeks after they first broadcast. they're running ashton kutcher and dan aykroyd again on the 31st and 7th. they just aired this month! they ran deniro three weeks after the first rerun! it wasn't even a very good show! whatever happened to waiting a few months? ay, dios mio! the first time on memory that they did this "premature rerun" was a few years ago. they ran the episode with jennifer lopez three weeks after it first aired because lorne was mad that the xfl game ran too long, bumping the show 45 minutes and therefore losing ratings that the booking was designed to get. it wasn't even a very good show! jennifer lopez is a self-absorbed, materialist diva who should have never had a singing career. my sister saw "maid in manhattan" and said it was the worst movie she had seen in years. i hate the fake "i'm just a poor girl from the bronx who remembers her roots" vibe she glued onto her recent work. "love don't cost a thing," my ass. "jenny from the block" still thinks she's better than you, despite having no musical talent whatsoever.

2003-05-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

bad sulu!
so those fuckers at fox finally did it, they finally cancelled futurama. not that i'm all that surprised, though, because they obviously hated the show. i mean, they give it a shitty timeslot that guarantees the show will be preempted most of the year. then, when the show gets an emmy for "best animated series", they don't even bother calling matt groening to congratulate him. it's all because matt wouldn't let them get their greasy little paws on the series and turn it into a marketing tool. at least futurama made four seasons worth of shows that had better writing than most of the shit on tv in the past fifteen years. if i can get misty just reading the episode synopsis to "jurassic bark" (which i have not actually seen, but know the show ends on a very emotional note), that show is definitely one with quality writing.

before you say "fox doesn't hate matt groening! they renewed the simpsons!", i have a feeling that these constant renewals are more to do with two things: one, fox needs all the hits they can have. it certainly isn't going anywhere in terms of producing ground-breaking, or at least entertaining television, so they're basically milking the dead cow that is the simpsons. any network that makes "who wants to marry a multimillionaire" and "married by america" is hardly a bastion of quality programming. second, i have a feeling that the renewals are only there to keep matt groening indentured to the network. i have a feeling that if he tries to end the show, fox will sue his ass off. and frankly, i think it's high time the simpsons ended. it's a pale shadow of the show it was at its peak: it's been in a six year downward slide in quality that started ever since that ass mike scully became executive producer (an example of another mike scully atrocity against humanit...er, television would be the thankfully short-lived "the pitts"). it's when homer started becoming a complete retard who couldn't possibly come up with most of the dialogue he had in the first seven years of the show.

if you want to compare what the difference between good simpsons and bad simpsons is, just compare the two "glimpse into the future" episodes: the 1995 episode "lisa's wedding" and the 2000 episode "bart to the future". the former had something that the latter was missing: a heart. there were scenes of homer being a loving father! there were scenes that developed the relationship between the characters! even the children were more logically portrayed, with bart and lisa actually being written as if their characters had grown. the latter was played more for cheap jokes (ie "smell you later" replacing "goodbye") and bart and lisa were basically their eight-year-old selves in bigger bodies. this is why i'm not going to watch simpsons after this year. even though they deposed scully as executive producer (and replaced him with al jean), i think it's time to give the show a rest. every new episodes seems to tarnish the memory of the show in it's prime. it's just like the career of eric clapton or rod stewart: they do some good stuff early on, only to have the memory of their good, early work destroyed forever with a "change the world" or "da ya think i'm sexy?". fuck you, fox.

i seriously think the emotional aspect is an important part of good writing in tv series. i'm not counting sketch comedy, although a good number of my favorite shows are sketch comedy, because it doesn't require the level of character development a series needs. there's something that separates a lot of the good shows from the bad. i mean, look at taxi: this is a much better show than, say, full house (although an ensemble comedy and a terrible family comedy are hardly the same thing). i mean, it's hardly all "fun and games at the garage" for these people. they're not all that happy with their station in life: most of the characters only do the driving as a second job. and the characters are treated with respect: even the "types" (latka the immigrant, jim the old stoner) are treated as sympathetic characters. with full house, the characters weren't well developed at all...danny was just a dorky neat freak with a hug fetish, jesse was the elvis freak, joey was the comedian, etc. etc.

i think this is what draws me to sitcoms such as taxi, barney miller and m*a*s*h. maybe it's just the general "unhappy situation" going on (and yes, there is one throughout barney miller: the tedium of their work, the squadroom is falling apart...the list goes on...). i do enjoy shows like the cosby show sometimes, but not quite on the same level of those other shows.

2003-05-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

fucky fuck fuck!
i seriously think the post office and bank are in cahoots just to piss me off. i got a note in the mail saying that my ucb/exit 57 tapes are in but the duty is $17! i don't have that kind of money! and to annoy me even further, joel's check came today, but the bank has to put a 25 business day hold on it! fuck! at least there's a chance i'll be able to claim the package on tuesday, but it pisses me off that they would (unintentionally) tease me like this.

i get too much spam...i once got 50 spam e-mails in one sitting.

who are my loyal readers? i see a few recurring isps in the sitemeter stats but can't put names to all of them.

2003-05-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

not suitable for any living thing
i'm feeling sick...i've got a headache. looks like i'll be heading to bed early tonight.

before i do go, i think i'd like to post another in the series of dreams: kildonan-east people abounded in one part of the dream...i snuck my way into a library-like setting for some reason and saw people like stacey snezyk and jenna mccullough studying there. maybe a few guys as well but again i could only definitely remember the girls. then at some restaurant, that social clique with trisha pownall and cori wiebe and those people were there...it wasn't any place i could put a name to. for some reason i'm trying to figure out if uncle joe was at that restaurant too.

the other part had me and a bunch of other people in the top floor of some luxury hotel or something where i was struggling to complete an assignment. then for some reason, i was home and we had this really big, well kept garden but i kept stepping on plants and all. i also tried to sneak a cigarette but the lighter kept burning my hand. i don't even smoke, at least not while sober..

well, i think i'll go to bed...maybe some cliffhangers may be resolved in these next dreams. maybe not.

2003-05-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

sick of miramichi
i think that as soon as i can (i.e. school's finished, have a living arrangement secured), i'm leaving miramichi. seriously, i can't live here much longer. there are so few jobs in the town unless your related to everyone like most of the citizens of miramichi are (fucking nepotism-based economy), so that's pretty much why call centers are so popular here. it's terrible how the ways of life in the maritimes (mining, mills) all ended, but because the economy is so shitty to begin with, they actually consider call centers something "great" for the region. if they were desparate enough, they'd call slave labour beneficial. i would rather not go back to mount a than to work at ict again. ict is the devil.

i think part of my restlessness is because i'm so not a maritimer...i miss the commercialized and americanized parts of canada. i think any region of canada that's as completely devoid of 7-11 as we are is not a place i'd like to stay for the rest of my life. and there aren't any good music stores within an hour radius of miramichi. we have r.o.w. in miramichi, but they hardly have the best selection (even if there are the occaisional good deals there). and radioland in bathurst has an ok selection, but the prices are marked up so fucking high! i bought a double-cd for less than what they sell their beatles albums! fuck! and if your taste of music is anywhere outside of the mainstream in miramichi (aside from old-timey fiddle music)- forget it.

on that note, i would like to say that at least i managed to get some good mail yesterday...my young and sexy cd arrived. mint records, i salute you. now, if my ucb and exit 57 tapes would get here pronto i'd be a happy man. my sister bought me something from my amazon.ca wishlist as well, so i also am looking forward to that.

i also think that going to ontario last summer made me realize that i like sitting in a car for hours on end watching scenery go by. i mean, this doesn't count for the stretch from miramichi to sackville, which i've had a ride on so many times i'm fucking sick of it. i mean, moncton's an interesting place and all but we do the same things all the fucking time. mall here, eat there, chapters here, wal-mart there. and it's usually the rogersville highway we go on too. i'm sick of seeing harcourt and rogersville. i haven't been on highway 8 past renous in over a year and a half. i haven't been to fredericton in a year and a half. i haven't even been to bathurst in a year! in fact, the most recent non "miramichi-to-sackville" roadway i've been on was the fucking plaster rock highway. i'd rather take the long way around instead of driving on that cheap "short cut" because an hour and a half is a long time to look at absolutely nothing. trees and the occasional river. no towns, nothing. not even a gas station until you reach the end. i hate how my entire universe for the most part is contained within a narrow fraction of the province. if the cost of gas weren't so much of issue...

another thing that pisses me off about miramichi: less and less people worth socializing with are here. seriously: most of the people i was really close to in high school (aside from steve and ryan) have moved on, realizing that the jobs are elsewhere. aside from msn i really am a hermit in the house. i'm sick to death of just seeing my family. i love them but i can't really be myself around them.

to end this entry on a less bitter note: this entry was sponsored by gramma betsy's biscuits: "we don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth!"

2003-05-11T23:46:00.000-07:00

hug, birthday cake, surprised face...
this entry has nothing to do with the subject line, that was just some parting icons on an msn messenger conversation i had...

anyways, since tracy morgan's leaving snl (along with kattan), i'm wondering if they'll slap together a best-of. if they do, here's what i'd include:
-tracy as george w. bush while will ferrell is backstage hitting on jennifer lopez
-the loews theatre sketch where tracy plays the guy who actually likes the previews for all those bad movies ("rhea perlman is shelley long in the shelly long story")
-get me a soda, bitch! (the first one where tracy tells garth brooks that "chris gaines" is a fruit)
-"the other black guy" commentary on weekend update
-brian fellow's safari planet (the one with "that goat has devil eyes!")...maybe show the first brian fellow appearance where he's that gayish sports journalist ("i hear michael jordan is a friend of dorothy...oh no you di-int!")
-a clip of him as liza minelli's "fiance" in the morning show parody from 1997 ("toodle-oo, liii-za!")
-tito jackson's "i gotta eat too!"
-fat albert behind the music

and in conclusion, pit-pat the pansexual non-threatening spokesthing says "take it from me! i love you!"

2003-05-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

what's he doing on the comedy network?
andrew posted a rant about mike bullard on his weblog. i recommend that you read it. i agree 100% with his stance.

2003-05-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

what a dream i had...
friday night, i had a fairly strange dream...i was back at valley gardens junior high except i was the same age i am now. and there were people from mount allison present among the vg'ers..particularly you-know-who (aka 'the crush victim'). then, in the dream, for some reason, i was told that because there was evidence that i was looking at porn on the lab computers, my grades at school would be only a c+. which normally would be a shrug-off-able thing but this was seen as a major penalty. then i was in this large, dark grocery store that was like a surreal version of "the real canadian superstore" out west, where i made myself a sandwich which i took a bite out of before paying, so the guy was giving me shit about it. then the dream ends.

the fact that this dream had both the recent crush victim and one of my previous ones is making me think about a conversation that steve and i had about the people i have been attracted to in the past 5 years. here are a few parallels:
-all of the people i have been attracted to had some unusual facial characteristic...just a flaw or something that disqualified them from being model-pretty and yet made them look unique, offbeat and all those words which aren't coming to me.
-the last few all were either punkish/indie kids and had glasses (either reading or full-time).
-the last few also had an interesting sense of humor that i could get along with.
-two of them progressively got shorter and shorter hair since i met them. (attraction not really related to hair length, although i do admit that i like short hair)
-i got along better with the ones i didn't have as much in common with (who were also more outgoing).
i guess i sort of have a type.

who reads this thing? i only can ascertain a few definite ones aside from the misled perverts.

2003-05-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

ringengo! ringengo!
i'm almost finished with a dub of sctv that i'm doing in exchange for some ucb and some exit 57...now sctv was a funny show.

does it mean anything if you identify with seymour from ghost world? steve buscemi is the man.

2003-05-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

the interview
because andrew has a few interviews with his friends on the vetteltorium, i figured i might as well try my hand at interviewing people. so, i figured the most interesting person to talk to would be genevieve gay, who i've mentioned countless times on this weblog. anyways, she proved to be quite entertaining in her responses to my queries. you can read the results here

i also went out wednesday night with steve and cooper to the tide's karaoke night...steve and i sang "alabama song" by the doors, and i joined steve and cooper in their rendition of "disarm". fun.

2003-04-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

you haven't looked at me that way in years...
...but i'm still here. sorry for not updating my weblog since i got home. i was busy finishing up assignments and this computer is as slow as i remember it. but it's good to be home, even if family expenses eat into my money (i have to pay for gas and food...i don't even have a driver's license) and none of my really good friends live in miramichi anymore. there's always msn messenger and icq though...

the end of the school year came and went, and i said my goodbyes to her as she packed. and our conversation made me wish i had really gotten to know her early in the year and befriend her, as she pretty much confirmed our similar tastes and dispositions. and while it partially was because of my ill-advised attraction to her i was at my lowest ebbs this year, this conversation basically was a denouement in every sense of the word. i'm not particularly broken up over not likely seeing her again in my life aside from chance encounters. i may have been attracted to her, but to be honest she didn't really leave as much as an impression on my life as several other people have, some of whom i may or may not have been attracted to. i don't think i've experienced the sheer bliss from knowing her that several other wonderful people have produced. no offense to her, but even though she caused a significant amount of heartache for me, in the grand scheme of my life she's going to be just a minor chapter. she wasn't my first broken heart, she didn't make me particularly happy from just being with her (to be honest i felt that our conversations were pretty stitled and awkward), and our actual contact time was seven months. seven months of twenty one years.

reading my sitemeter, i've noticed an alarming amount of people who discover my site while looking for porn. the fact that the words "cream pie" are in the title probably don't help, but i don't feel like changing it. i think the "misleading perverts" thing is a common problem for all webpages, though.

so ashton kutcher's hosting snl on saturday...i'm not a big fan of the guy but i know he actually is a huge fan of the show, so there's a chance that he'll do a decent job because he'll at least trust the writers' instincts of comedy (as opposed to self-promoting divas like jennifer "me! me! me!" lopez). or, he could be another heather graham and prove a complete lack of talent. at least there's no chance he'll stink on the level of deion sanders, who was so untalented an snl host that he had to lipsync rap. i just hope the writers pump out good sketches this week. my sister says kutcher's thing is physical comedy, so maybe they could play to that strength.

i rented high fidelity and i liked it.

i really would appreciate it if you email me or sign my guestbook. i get so much spam now it's always a pleasant surprise when

2003-04-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

mixes
i made two mixes last night...let me know what you think. i wish the snl compilation cds were as good as the mix i made...it's a shame more of the musical performances weren't released on cd.

2003-04-21T05:16:00.000-07:00

interview, yo
andrew savoy's interview with me is up...read and enjoy. i'd actually like to interview a few people myself someday.

i go home tomorrow.

2003-04-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

a plea
sign my new guestbook, mother fuckers!

sincerely,
a guestbook whore.

2003-04-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

something to make you laugh
how to write good by michael o'donoghue. a classic piece from national lampoon.

btw, it's cait's birthday today...she's 21. go wish her a happy birthday.

2003-04-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

something new
on the sidebar, i added a link to my new guestbook. apparantly, my book on the geocities page was full so i though "fuck them, i'll go elsewhere for the goods." i have it linked on both the blog and the geocities page. btw, i still am keeping the tagboard...why the hell aren't you people using this thing?

2003-04-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

a poem/spoken word pieceby henry rollins...

I know you
You were too short
You had bad skin
You couldn’t talk to them very well
Words didn’t seem to work
They lied when they came out of your mouth
You tried so hard to understand the others
You wanted to be part of what was happening
You saw them having fun
Seemed like such a mystery
Almost magic

You thought that there was something wrong with you
You would look in the mirror trying to find the flaw
You thought that you were ugly
And that everybody was looking at you
So you learned to be invisible
To look down
To avoid conversation

The hours, days, weekends
The weekend nights
Alone
Where were you,
The basement, the attic, your room?
Working some job?
Just to have something to do?
Just to have a place to put yourself?
Just to have a way to get away from them
Staying away from the ones
That made you feel so strange
And ill at ease inside yourself

Did you ever get invited to one of their parties
You sat & wondered if you would go or not
For hours you imagined what might transpire
If they would laugh at you
If you would know what to do
If you would have the right things on
If they would notice that you came from a different planet
Did you get all brave in your thoughts
Like you were going to be able to go in there
Deal with it & have a great time?
Did you think that you might be the “life of the party?”
That all these people were going to talk to you
And you would find out that you were wrong
And that you had a lot of friends
And you weren’t so strange after all?
Did you end up going?
Did they mess with you?
Did they single you out?
Did you find out that you got invited
Because they thought you were so weird?
I think I know you

You spent a lot of time full of hate
A hate that was as pure as sunshine
A hate that saw for miles
A hate that kept you up at night
A hate the filled your every waking moment
A hate that carried you for a long time
Yes, I think I know you

You couldn’t figure out what they saw in the way they lived
Home was not home
Your room was home
A corner was home
Anywhere they weren’t
That was home
I know you

You’re sensitive
You hide it
You fear getting stepped on one more time
It seems that when you show a part of yourself
That is the least bit vulnerable
Someone takes advantage of you
One of them steps on you
They mistake kindness for weakness
But you know the difference
You’ve been the brunt of their weakness for years
Strength is something you know a bit about
You had to be strong to keep yourself alive
You know yourself very well now
You don’t trust people
You know them too well
You try to find a special person
Someone you can be with
Someone you can touch
Someone you can talk to
Someone you won’t feel so strange around
You found that they don’t really exist
You feel closer to people on movie screens
Yea, I think I know you

You spend a lot of time daydreaming
People have made comment to that effect
Telling you that you’re self involved & self centered
But they don’t know, do they
About the long night shifts alone
About the years of keeping yourself company
All the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself
So you could imagine someone holding you
The hours of indecision
Self doubt
The intense depression
The blinding hate
The rage that made you stagger
The devastation of rejection
Well, maybe they do know
But if they do
They sure do a good job of hiding it

It astounds you how they can be so smooth
How they seem to pass thru life
As if life itself was some divine gift
It infuriates you to watch yourself
With your apparent skill in finding every way possible
To screw it up
For you life is a long trip
Terrifying & wonderful
Birds sing to you at night
The rain & the sun
The changing seasons are true friends
Solitude is a hard won ally
Faithful & patient
Yes I think I know you

2003-04-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

e-mail drive
i would appreciate it if someone e-mailed me...i get a lot of spam and not enough good mail, so if you're reading this, please e-mail me at bjdwsm@REMOVE.mta.ca. Please remove the "remove" (obviously).

i think my drama exam went alright. at least, i hope so.

2003-04-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

new friendtest

2003-04-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

the home stretch
tomorrow is my drama exam...shouldn't be too hard, especially since a group of us met to discuss the plays we read in this class. i forgot to mention that monday was our performance exercise class. we had it in the president's cottage, and a lot of people brought snacks. i actually enjoyed drama, despite my slack approach to reading reports. good group we had.

andrew's going to interview me for his website. stay tuned.

2003-04-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

i asked jerry, he told terry...
long time no update...well, here's what's going on:

last night was the edwards house banquet...performing for us was the celtic society. it was a good evening but there was a bombshell dropped: our dons, davey and julian, aren't coming back next year. at least they have a good reason: they got into grad school. julian was one of two people accepted into the painting program, so he'd be a moron not to take advantage of that. they've been dons for five years, and they're getting married this summer, so the time for them to move on is now, but this is really going to complicate things for the house next year. in addition to us losing our dons, we're losing our lounges to accomodate an influx of new students and palmer refugees (palmer hall gets razed at the end of this year). i have a bad feeling that edwards house is going to lose it's character.

one humorous note: they showed the video they made at the semi-formal. i can be seen dancing like a maniac (which won me the award for "best dance moves" at the banquet), but what really made the video was dave's ripping of laurel. "i saw that movie you were in and it sucked!" "she turned it into a fucking porno!" i sound mean here but for some reason i really enjoyed it.

i'm going to miss the grads and the non-returning students.

2003-04-06T12:29:00.000-07:00

california tumbles into the sea
i got piss drunk on friday night...it's gotta stop. i'm still paying for that one. good to see a whole lot of people at the pub from edwards, though i don't think my birthday had any bearing as to whether people would come or not. let's face it, my birthday doesn't carry the same weight as someone like keir's or matt's. i ran into mireille a couple of times this week (twice on thursday) and that's pretty much it. oh, two things in the argosy of note: my 'turn beauty inside out' submission was printed here and a non-existant person is the second best landlord in sackville according to the survey. this result was brought to you by the same people who wrote the infamous biochem midterm (with lists of the kings of england and such wonderous definitions as "glycocide is the killing of a glyco").

i've been thinking more and more about how i didn't give this year's frosh as big of a chance as last year's, but they ended up being alright people. the group that impressed me the most overall is the troika of jenna, amelie and danielle...such good people, so funny, and all that. danielle should have won the social chair race with tim. i'm sure she could have come up with interesting things for everyone to do. jenna still astounds me with her inherent goodness and i like talking to amelie.

the weather is a douche bag. 'nuff said.

this is so true.

2003-04-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

dum, dum, dum dum, dum dum dum dum...
birthday went great...i got the cd from my sister at lunch yesterday (a hard day's night). she ordered it for me online because she can't buy anything where she lives...i'm amazed that the delivery worked out the way it did. i also went out for supper...dave, wilson, mike mohammed and sean took me to amherst...jungle jims. good meal although i now know that bloody caesars and me don't mix. afterwards i went to the pub to take care of my free drink...remember. gin and tonic = good, bloody caesar = bad.

thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday (and thanks for the hug mireille).

2003-04-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

soundtrack:
i stole this from a blog..it's harder than i thought. i also sent it to a few people...

Happiness: "Feelin' Groovy" (Simon & Garfunkel)
Summer: "Kuru/Speak Like A Child" (Jaco Pastorius); "Moonlight" (Bob Dylan)
Childhood: "Pop Goes The World" (Men Without Hats); anything by Raffi or Fred Penner
Sex: "In A Silent Way/It's About That Time" (Miles Davis); "Crush" (Dave Matthews)
Yourself: "How To Disappear Completely" (Radiohead)
Love: "Look How Far" (Bruce Cockburn)
Crushes: "Does Everyone Stare" (Police); "Shiver" (Coldplay)
Jealousy: "I Want You" (Elvis Costello)
Feeling lonely: "Lonely" (Tom Waits)
Melancholy: "Autumn Sweater" (Yo La Tengo)
Rain: "Shadows" (Yo La Tengo)
The colour blue: "Blue Valentine" (Tom Waits)
City lights: "The Thrill of it All" (Roxy Music)
Loss: "Goodbye Blue Sky" (Pink Floyd); "The Dreaming Tree" (Dave Matthews)
Anger: "Idiot Wind" (Bob Dylan), "Why'd Ya Do It" (Marianne Faithfull)
Pain: "Hearts vs. Spades" (The Never Engine)
Optimism: "Here Comes The Sun" (The Beatles)
Guilt: "Guilt" (Marianne Faithfull)
Change: don't know

2003-04-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

"ha-PPY birthdaytoyou"- sean connery
well, tomorrow i turn 21...my family came down from miramichi yesterday in the inclimate weather so we could go out and celebrate. we went to moncton...i did my usual round of birthday cd buying. here's what i got, all prices canadian:
reggatta de blanc by the police (remastered, $10)
pretzel logic by steely dan (remastered, $10)
headhunters by herbie hancock ($16)
blonde on blonde by bob dylan ($17)
the soft bulletin by flaming lips ($20)
i also took advantage of my birthday by purchasing a copy of david sedaris' me talk pretty one day at chapters, seizing the opportunity i had when i spotted a copy. funny shit. anyways, i'm not sure how i will celebrate my birthday...perhaps i will go out for a drink. i re-bic'd my head last night so it's all smooth again. it feels good....

btw, it's becky's birthday today...go becky! happy 18th.

i also urge you to say hi to elea.

2003-03-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

i don't know nothing about mexico
past few days were pretty dull aside from the head shave and all that. drama class was cancelled on friday so i had the afternoon free to work on my paper (which i still haven't gotten done...grrr). anyways, that night was ian wilson's birthday although we didn't really do much...basically i came into his room and talked with him while he played warcraft. it was interesting because i was able to be completely candid about my thing for you-know-who. he was able to sum up the way things are between me and her with his own observation: she's one of those people who you like to look at (in fact, it feels good to look at her), but her presence actually makes you feel negative. which in a way was true. i found it incredibly difficult to talk to her every time i tried...the words wouldn't come and there would be a number of awkward pauses. maybe it was just the aura of mystery she projected that attracted me to her, as ian said. there are some people with whom the conversation just flows, and she is not one of them. so in effect, it's a good thing that i didn't end up with her in the first place. i think that you have to be both attracted to a person and feel comfortable around that person in order for things to work out.

last night was pretty uneventful as well...more attempts at work and all. i went to mel's and ordered poutine because i was hungry...the ambience there is really interesting. then i came home, hung out in billy's room with bill, kathy lynn (and mike mohammed), doing impressions of other people in the house. mike came after billy with a pair of needle nose pliers ("i want your spleen, billy") and joined the fun. after that was through i went to 2c and hung out with wilson where he championed his right-wing cause with a fake southern accent. as much fun as the guy is i can't stand his politics. he knows his stuff more than i do so of course he can trump me in a debate. i'm not entirely "hippie peacenik" as the posters he, gillies and "narc bones" put up say, but i think the war is ill-advised and the product of a moronic president trying to distract people from the real problems within his country. american politics make me sick...caring only about the oppressive dictatorship when it's convenient. they should have never funded them in the first place.

2003-03-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

the three hairless edwardians

yep, here we are, the people from edwards house who shaved their heads for cancer. steph is on the left, jenna is in the middle, and i'm on the right. please don't steal this picture from me...or else.